Happy Easter

Lots of years ago I decided that watching the sun rise seemed a good way to celebrate Easter, the day many people celebrate the Son of God rising from the grave. I don't make it every year. Sometimes I am just too tired, other times the weather doesn't cooperate, but I have a desire to do it every Easter. Most of the time I dress warmly and watch from my east-facing porch but there have been times when I have watched through my living room window. One year two of my daughters joined me and we startled our newspaper carrier. He didn't expect to see three people wrapped in blankets sitting on the porch that early on a Sunday morning! (He probably thought we sure were anxious to read the latest news)

Watching the sun rise can be a very spiritual experience. It takes a lot more time than I would have guessed. There is a long prelude to the sunrise when the sky starts to lighten just a bit and the birds start to greet the day with a few solos that soon blend into a chorus. I love to see the sun rise over the mountains. I try and guess where it will appear. As the sky lightens the mountains take shape as the shadows pull away. There is a great deal of anticipation as the sky grows lighter and the mountains come into focus and the birds sing louder. The buildup is long but finally you can see just a little bit of the sun and suddenly it's up and you have to look away. I remember the first time I watched the sun rise on Easter morning I was reminded of giving birth. That feeling of waiting and anticipating, the baby's head crowning, that joyous feeling when a child enters mortality...and suddenly the baby is in your arms and your eyes are filled with tears but you can't look away because it is all so incredible.

The sunrise is a truly amazing experience. When you think of how powerful the sun is and how vital it is to our existence, when you think of how complex our brains are and how we are able to see the sun and feel it's warmth and hear the birds announce a new day. So much depends on the rising of the sun and yet we sometimes sleep through the event or hardly give it a thought. It isn't hard to see why we human beings can fail to see miracles.

A hymn that comes into my mind even before Easter is Christ the Lord is Risen Today. I remember playing it on the stereo one day and stopping to sing it out loud and strong with the MormonTabernacle Choir. I felt joy in my whole being, a joy I didn't fully comprehend but I joy that I knew it was right to feel. I believe that Jesus Christ is the Son of God and that he lived his life to teach us how to make our way back to our heavenly home to live with our Heavenly Father. I believe he took upon himself our sins to pay the price so that we could through repentance live with God again. He was the only one who could pay that price. I believe he not only suffered under the incomprehensible weight of all the sins of mankind but that he also felt our fears, our sorrows, our doubts, our griefs, and every pain that we can feel so that we are not alone in our suffering. He understands. I believe he willingly gave his life on the cross. I believe he rose from the tomb and overcame death so that we too can rise again. He did all of these things out of a pure love for his father and a willingness to obey, and out of a pure and unconditional love for each one of us. God our Father and his son Jesus Christ our brother and redeemer want our happiness. This I know.

Can you imagine what it must have been like for the disciples of Jesus after serving with him and listening to him teach and watching him perform miracles and having him wash their feet, to see him tormented and mocked and crucified and sealed in a tomb and then to see that tomb empty? Can you imagine what it would have been like to be there and to see him standing before you again and to touch the nail prints in his hands and in his feet and the wound in his side? Can you imagine what you would feel in your heart?

Even people who don't believe in God or who do not believe that Jesus is the Christ cannot deny the renewal of the earth this time of year. The grass that was dead grows greener each day, the bare branches of the trees have tender buds, flowers bloom out of earth that was cold and hard...Everywhere you look there is an empty tomb. Alma, a prophet in the Book of Mormon, said, "All things denote there is a God". Spring brings new life and hope of continued life. The rising sun brings hope of a new day filled with promise. The rising of the Son of God brings hope of endless days and eternal happiness.

I highly recommend watching the sun rise. If you can't see it, you can hear the birds greet it, if you can't hear the birds, you can feel the sun on your face and be closer to it than you think.
Happy Easter! I hope the view from your window is one of new life.

The Reality of Fools and Wisdom Teeth

I missed writing on April Fool's day and yesterday which could indicate I was busy having an extended celebration. However, my daughter had her wisdom teeth out on April Fool's day so my focus was elsewhere. (Luckily oral surgeons don't bring pranks to work) A friend of mine was sharing memories on her blog of past April Fool's pranks she and her siblings would pull. It brought back a few memories of my own..

I would always try and scare my dad by putting a fake spider in his cup when he came home for lunch. One year I scared him, which was no easy feat, and I was very happy with myself. A few years after my husband and I were married I filled his lunch box with socks (I can't remember if they were clean or dirty) but I enclosed some lunch money at the bottom as a token of peace. I appreciate well planned and well executed April Fool's jokes but mine are not very elaborate. I stick with minor pranks rather than hoaxes because I am a lousy liar, which I guess is a good thing.

April Fool's day reminds me of hearing a man named Anthony Newly sing a song called What Kind of Fool am I. It was a song from a broadway production. Anthony Newly was a dramatically expressive performer who almost made it look like singing was excruciatingly painful. His song asks a good question...At times in my life I have been a stubborn fool, a crazy fool, a dancing fool, a darned fool, a lovesick fool, and even an April fool (also a May fool, a September fool...). Of course the fool I aim to be is nobody's fool.
When they brought my daughter out to the waiting area after having her wisdom teeth extracted I said something to the effect that she looked and sounded so cute with her squirrel-ready-for-winter gauze-packed cheeks I wanted to pinch her cheeks, but I wouldn't. Note to parents: If you ever want to say something embarrassing like this to your teenager, right after they have had oral surgery is the perfect time! They are too woozy to give you a proper eye-roll, they have difficulty speaking so they can't protest verbally, and they are fully aware that you are their caregiver for the next few days so they let it go. She is recovering nicely by the way.

Random Thoughts: I was reading a TV critic's column the other day and the subject was Survivor. I have never seen the show but the article got me thinking about 'reality' shows. In the time in which we live a lot of time, energy, and money is spent in trying to make things that aren't real look real so what effect does that have on things that are real? Does the boundary become blurred between virtual reality and reality? Does it make sense to take time out of our real lives to watch someone else's reality for entertainment? We do after all spend quite a bit of time watching or reading other people's fantasies. Are reality shows real? Sometimes I have read about reality shows and the phrase, 'get real' has come to mind. I have found myself watching some things or reading some things and thinking that I am glad that isn't my reality but in a way I have just made it part of my reality for a short time, haven't I? I think it was Plato that said we create our own reality, things are only real because we perceive them to be...I think I need a reality check. I like to spend a lot of time in my own little world and worlds that others create but the real world is pretty cool too...most of the time. It is fascinating to watch and even greater to take an active part in. It feels more...real that way.

How do you see things?

I Should Start By Collecting My Thoughts...

I remember years ago feeling like I should start collecting something. Somehow I thought it would add to my character or complete me in some way. After much thought I decided to collect elephants (not real ones-although that would be an impressive collection to show-off to family and friends) because I find them to be admirable creatures and I didn't know anyone who collected them. The collection never took off. Collections require time, money, and space. I struggle with being consistent, I worry about frivolous spending, (which doesn't always keep me from engaging in it), and I am always trying to de-clutter my life. After the elephants failed to add up I thought about collecting cash but those collections never last long it seems so I decided to collect books. It is hard for me to imagine having too many books. My book collection isn't as vast as I would like it to be but it is gradually growing.

Sometimes I think I only collect dust but that isn't impressive especially since 99.9 % of my collection is just the common household variety. I'll leave you wondering about the other 1/10th. It is fun to ponder how far the dust might have traveled before arriving at my house and what exactly is the shelf-life of dust? Now there is a good reason for not dusting---I am conducting an experiment!

People collect rocks, stamps, coins, dead insects, garbage, taxes, etc. Perhaps I could collect happiness. (I can picture eye-rolling and gagging at this point but stick with me) I have often enjoyed consciously collecting smiles. I remember one day when I was in college I decided to be happy and to smile at people all day. Many people smiled back and I had a very good day. I think we too often look outside of ourselves for things to make us happy. We buy stuff, we collect things, we go places, we take medication...We all know how good a smile can make us feel or how something relatively simple can make us happy. I believe the act of being positive or happy can create physical chemical reactions and changes in our body---with only good side effects.

A collection of happiness would create its own space, wouldn't have to be insured or dusted, and you wouldn't have to travel very far to find it. If everyone collected happiness there wouldn't be a shortage but an increase of happiness to collect. Am I always such a persistant Pollyanna or obstinate optimist? No. Just ask my husband who puts up with my worrying and my depression diving. (kind of like dumpster diving without finding treasure) But I am a tenacious hanger-on to hope. Hope has led me to some of the best moments in my life. It has rescued me and cheered me on. Hope keeps great company in faith and charity. If we must hope for a better world we need to take up a collection of happiness for ourselves...that sounds selfish but can we really have other people take up a collection of happiness for us

Get started on those collections. Perhaps you can spot something right now from your window that you can add to your collection.

Jello and the Substance of Simple Things---Part 2

The reason I make my Rainbow Jello Salad once a year to coincide with Easter is because of the colors. I love this time of year when the earth gradually casts aside her winter wardrobe of worn-looking neutrals for a fresh new Spring wardrobe of delicate pastels. Colors are softer and clearer when the year is young. These newborn colors are perfect for Easter decorations and candy. Baskets and eggs and jellybeans look as if they were rolled in green grass, soaked in sunshine, brushed against pink and purple petals, or dipped in the blue of the sky.

After our Easter brunch last Saturday we had an Easter Egg hunt for our grand daughter. The Easter bunny came while she ran to the store with her Dad and Papa. I had my sister and my sister-in-law be bunny helpers which is interesting considering that both of them are getting older and have major trouble with their knees and their feet. But they were happy to help because they are both very giving and they are both very young at heart. Just goes to show that the Easter Bunny is ageless. My grand daughter was excited to look for what the Easter bunny had left for her. She wasn't excited in a jumping-up-and-down way but you could see the wonder in her eyes and that filled the air with childlike anticipation that rejuvenated the 'old folks' who were watching and thinking of Easter Egg hunts from another time.

Everyone seemed to enjoy the brunch although my grandson was miserable teething and my 89 year old Uncle lost a tooth. Life can be rough on both ends and in the middle but thank heavens for all the moments of interspersed joy. I experienced several of those moments on Saturday. I got to hold my feverish grandson and comfort him and kiss him and feel him fall asleep in my arms. I got to feed and listen to, and laugh with and watch, and just be with family---sustenance for a mother. I also got to push my grand daughter in a swing. We pointed out airplanes, said silly things , and giggled together. For those moments I felt filled up with joy and weightier matters were carried away on the breeze.

The pleasures brought by colored jello, pastel colors, sleeping babies, laughing children, and time spent with people you love can be elusive and oh so hard to adequately describe. The apostle Paul defines Faith as being "the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen." In this case the word substance can have the Greek meaning of assurance, basis, or foundation. Simple pleasures like those experienced at our pre-Easter brunch strengthen my faith and give substance to my hopes and dreams. Our Savior said that man must become as a little child to enter the kingdom of Heaven. We all should spend more time with children to better understand this requirement and to grasp the substance of simple things. Time spent with my children and grandchildren gives me a glimpse of heaven and motivation to make it there.

What do you see from your window today?

Jello and the Substance of Simple Things---Part 1

Jello(I am using this term to refer to gelatin in general but I do prefer the Jell-O brand) is on my list of comfort foods. I really like jello. I like the smell of the powder, the colors, the flavors, the texture, and I never fail to be impressed by the way you can actually suspend other foods inside of it. (I never have and never will put spam in jello---there is a line between creative and disgusting) You can mold it, whip it, or cut it into jiggly shapes. For me jello is the edible equivilent to Silly Putty or Play-Doh. My son doesn't eat jello because he doesn't like the texture. For me, jello doesn't hold together in your mouth long enough to be offensive. I like sinking my teeth into it. There is no threat to my crowns.



I realize that when I confess my fondness for jello that I am risking becoming a real live caricature of myself (I thought about it---it's possible); a middle-aged LDS housewife from Utah who happily serves jello as a side dish as well as a dessert and takes jello salads to ward dinners. Members of the LDS church, especially those from Utah, have long been associated with jello. Green jello pins were sold at the 2002 Olympics in Utah. It is a fact that jello consumption is pretty high in the state of Utah and jello salads have always been standard fare at LDS church dinners. Although for the past decade I think LDS women have been trying to break out of the jello mold so to speak and try newer more exciting dishes. I know non LDS people in other states eat jello too. The Jell-O Museum is in the state of New York and I was surprised when I went to a luau on the island of Kauai to find jello on the menu---perhaps the luau was run by members of the LDS church---jello wasn't on my list of exotic island dishes but it tasted much better than the poi.



I made a favorite jello concoction just last Friday. It is a Rainbow Jello Salad. It is made with 6 different flavors of jello that represent 6 out of 7 colors of the rainbow. (Unfortunately they don't make an indigo shade of jello but making this salad helped me learn the order of colors in a rainbow. My oldest daughter introduced me to Roy G. Biv to help me remember) Each flavor is split into 2 layers, one layer just dissolved in boiling water and the other layer dissolved in boiling water with sour cream whisked into it. The end result is an incredible 12 layer rainbow comprised of one translucent and one opaque layer of each color. I put it in a 13x9 glass dish and cut it into squares so you can appreciate all of the layers. This is more than a salad. It's an edible creation that is aesthetically pleasing! You can actually peel the layers and eat them one at a time like my grand daugther did. Pieces of it look like it fell from the sky onto your plate. It tastes pretty good. It doesn't stimulate your taste buds like the luscious lemon and tarragon of bearnaise or embrace your taste buds like warm homemade rolls with butter but it gently tickles your taste buds while entertaining your tongue. (Yes, I could use more adventure in my life) I got the recipe from a neighbor years ago and the last few years it has become a traditional part of my pre-Easter brunch. It doesn't really take talent to make, just time and patience, and it looks so cool. It obviously gives this LDS housewife a sense of accomplishment and could very well be considered the piece de resistance of jello recipes.
I hope this post 'sets' well with you...

Consuming

Today I made a Costco run. My motivation was to get some fruit leather strips to put in my daugter's lunches. Of course, there are always some items I can pick up for storage and I had some Costco coupons. I love to save money but at Costco you spend money to save it if you know what I mean. I always experience a combination of excitement (the thrill of the hunt for good deals) and guilt when I shop at Costco. I feel like someone could take a picture of me struggling to push my overloaded cart and I could become a poster woman for the mega-consuming, wasteful, spoiled, reveling in excess, capitalistic American; at least the American pictured in the minds of some people in other countries.

Don't get me wrong, I like membership wholesale shopping places. That is why I am a card-carrying member. (Once we let our membership expire for a while and I felt almost underprivileged) They really help out when building your two-year supply or shopping for girl's camp or ward parties, or even wedding gifts and they are a great place for men who want to impress that special woman with flowers without paying an outrageous amount of money. It's just that there are so many wants masquerading as needs standing in the aisles and beckoning... Right when I walked in the door today I was faced with temptation in the form of the latest Disney movie on DVD for a terrific price. I happily put it in my cart but then I put it back because I haven't even seen the movie yet to know if I want to own it. (I think it is genetic but when I shop I will frequently put something in my cart and drive around with it for awhile and then put it back and stand and stare at for a bit like I am waiting for it to jump in my cart or beg me to buy it. I probably drive security people crazy with all my suspicious looking pondering and indecisiveness) Just a few feet farther was the newest Fablehaven book for a heck of a deal. Then there were spring bulbs, fruit trees,indoor/outdoor carpeting I could use on my deck, car mats, Danishes to die for, etc. etc. etc. (I resisted but made a list of what to convince myself I need on my next trip)

I did get the fruit leather strips and a cart full of mostly needed items like softener salt, laundry detergent and chewable calcium. I did splurge on some dried fruit and some really just cute mini angel food cakes. I still ended up spending probably more money than many people in poorer (Costcoless) countries earn in a year. The total packaging (one of my pet peeves about Costco is their vast amounts of packaging---over-sized boxes with bags inside) of my items would probably be considered enviable housing material in some places and the amount of samples I consumed (some samples I couldn't get to) was most likely more food than some children eat in a day. You see where the guilt comes from? At Costco you not only run the risk of buying things you don't need but you end up buying large amounts of what you don't need and you find comfort in how much money you saved. So many choices, so much fun stuff, so much cost in Costco!

Random thoughts: Today I was reading in my scriptures about the destruction of a people who became consumed with hatred for one another. I thought about the phrase 'consumed with hatred' and how hatred eats you up. When your heart is filled with hatred your heart becomes hard and too small for goodness---your soul is diminished. By way of contrast, we often hear the phrase 'filled with love'. When your heart is filled with love it expands and your soul is enlarged. Hate takes away. Love adds.

My husband learned on a cooking show the other night that you shouldn't refrigerate tomatoes and you don't need to refrigerate ketchup (or even catsup). None of my children like tomatoes except in the form of ketchup. I don't think they would like warm tomatoes any better than cold tomatoes. I like either but I am quite fond of cold ketchup. It seems fresher and healthier that way. I know it sits out on restaurant tables (and I eat it because I do consider it almost a food group)but I find it better to not think about that too much. You see my mother had an unusual (okay,icky) habit of licking the syrup drips on our syrup container at home and that has made me a bit suspicious of syrup containers as well as ketchup bottles in restaurants.

How does all of this fit together? Giddy comsumerism at Costco, consuming hatred, and unrefrigerated tomatoes...Well I love spending so I can save at Costco and at least it fills my pantry. (And I come up with really good reasons for needing what I buy)I sometimes hate the price of groceries anywhere you go now but I am not going to let it become a consuming hatred---I need the space in my heart for more love. And now I can buy a huge bag of tomatoes at Costco and not worry about them taking up space in my refrigerator---space that I need for the gallon jug of Ketchup!

Now tell me, what do you see from your window on the world?

Yesterday I was doing poop patrol---kind of like an Easter egg hunt with rotten eggs---and I had some thoughts...

First of all, I am glad that search and scoop has always been one of my kids' chores and not mine. (although I do end up doing it now and then to help out) But I have 'been there done that'. I used to clean up after my pet poodle. Of course, poodles are more refined in most areas aren't they? We even had a nice name for my poodle's messes---doo drops. Well now we have two dogs and neither of them are poodles and neither of them are refined. I wish I could train them to pick up their own messes but I'm still working on getting them to stop barking at the tiniest of noises and terrifying small children so we have a long road ahead.

I also thought about how many people clean up my messes. Included could be the people who work in sewage treatment plants and people who pick up my garbage and haul it away. And there are many people who take care of things for me because of my lack of ability or time. People frequently get paid to clean up after me, but I should take a moment now and then to appreciate them. Perhaps one of the reasons we are so wasteful now is because in many cases we are spared the dirty task of cleaning up after ourselves. We have flushing toilets instead of outhouses and we have someone come to our house to collect our refuse. I'm thankful that's the way things work how about you?

There were also a few analogies that came to mind as I was filling a shovel. I am pretty sure we have mentioned to our kids several times the importance of keeping up with the poop. After the erratic weather we have been experiencing it had been a while since the last poop patrol so I spent quite some time turd tracking yesterday. (Sorry, I don't like the word 'turd' but I was going for more alliteration) It is so much better to persistently pick it up than let it pile up. The winter snows covered a multitude of sins but only for so long. When the snow melted the poop could no longer be ignored. I am a skilled procrastinator so to me these aspects of poopiness apply to putting off personal improvement. We need to stay on top of stinky habits. If we ignore them they won't go away they will just pile up.Picking up poop requires being constant and diligent. It is recognizing that something needs to be done and then doing it because the end result far outweighs the inconvenience.

I am not going to follow my dogs around but I am going to make sure we are more diligent in cleaning up after them and I am even going to try and make it easier for people to clean up after me in other ways. I love being able to walk and run freely on the lawn without fear of stepping in something nasty. When our grand kids come for an Easter Egg hunt they will only find good things. Poop that isn't picked up spoils the landscape, interferes with fun and frolicking, and looms on the horizon as an increasingly nasty chore. It needs to be dealt with or it is just...poopy!

What's the view from your window?