A Doggone Good Question

Sometimes I ask myself the question, 'Why do we have dogs?' (Not why do dogs exist but why does our family own two of them) Maybe it's because I have always fancied how unique plastic carpet runners look on my furniture or the slightly wild texture that dog hair adds to my clothing. Maybe it's because it forces me to be vigilant about keeping doors closed, things picked up off the floor and food away from the edge of the table or because I prefer the soft sounds of whining and snuffling under my door to the startling sounds of my alarm clock... Of course the real reason is because we had an angel dog named Beth for eight years who made our home somehow more complete and when she passed away we told our two youngest children still living at home that we would get another dog. As much as we missed Beth we didn't miss the hairy coating on all surfaces in our home or the squishy land mines in the grass so it took us a year and a half before we actually got another dog.

We rescued Zoey from the shelter. One of our daughters was drawn to Zoey because she was sitting quietly while all the other dogs were barking and she has the captivating quirk of one lazy ear that flops while her other ear stands up straight. She was skinny and only cautiously friendly. She was supposed to be a Greyhound/Visla mix. We were later told she was probably mostly Belgian Malanois--definitely a herding breed of some sort. She does run like a greyhound and she is quite smart like a herding dog but she is very skittish and hides her fears behind frightening barking and gnashing of teeth---not real warm to people. She also bites at peoples' heels and loves to pull up chunks of grass just for fun. Did I mention we noticed right away that Zoey was definitely another dog---not like our Bethy at all.

Zoey was so much fun that we decided to get yet another dog. Actually we were hoping a second dog would help Zoey use up some of her energy and calm her. My husband was tired of being outnumbered by girls so he wanted a male dog---a beagle to be specific. (You see the captain of the ship on the television show called Enterprise---yet another Star Trek byproduct-- has a beagle so if my husband has a beagle then that takes him one step closer to being captain of a star ship--which would make him very happy and he would be very good at it too) We have now had Bo the Tri-Colored Beagle for a year. He is cute and affectionate. He is a voracious eater which I understand is part of the breed and he loves to chew. He chewed up a remote for my husband's big screen television (my husband does share the television with the rest of the family, but like the remote control, it is really his) and he still kept his happy home which proves how much my husband likes him. I think Zoey enjoys having company and she behaves a bit better just to show us that she is the good dog---because she doesn't have drooling jowls that slime furniture and people, she doesn't run away to find food at the neighbors, and she doesn't chew up remotes. My youngest daughter says that Zoey is like a thin exotic model and Bo her wealthy portly little man friend. They do make an interesting pair. Zoey loves to play more than anything and Bo loves to eat more than anything. They are both a bit crazy but then again so are we---that is why we are their owners...

One particularly pesky habit all too often displayed by both of our dogs gives me good reason to ask the question, 'Why do we have dogs?' Zoey and Bo rush to the fence like barking maniacs whenever a dog on the other side gets too close to the fence or breathes too loudly. The barking would be bad enough but they also claw and bite at the fence and then gag up pieces of fence. We have four neighbors bordering our backyard. Three of them have dogs. We have shredded fence slats and posts in three main spots. I know that according to dog experts they are exhibiting territorial dominant aggressive behavior---they are defending their space but during flights of fancy I can imagine the neighbor dogs taunting our dogs by muttering offensive remarks up close to the fence--- I've seen cats that could take you---you bark like a girl dog---I see you eat dog food, my people feed me steak off the grill---you are so lucky there's a fence here---What if people were that territorial? (Maybe they are--maybe I am---like when I grumble when someone pulls into a parking space next to me before I have had a chance to exit my vehicle or when I would get kind of irritated when a very tall adult would sit in a seat right in front of one of my children at a movie or when I feel crowded when another family puts their blanket a little too close to my picnic at the park---you know those little moments of guilty irritation--moments that I try to follow up with some self-talk on the need to share---luckily I don't bite fences---I don't even like toothpicks) When our dogs exhibit this frustrating behavior I try to tell them 'no' in my most authoritative voice and they stop---for at least two minutes or until my neighbors call their dogs in either because the barking is getting to them or my repeated commands are getting to them.

My daughter and I frequently muse about what it would be like if people acted like dogs . We are so thankful that people don't greet one another with highly personal sniffing and can you imagine hearing human scratching , growling or biting at the wall dividing bathroom stalls or voting booths or any other confined spaces where people might get to feeling territorial or defensive? On the other hand, I can picture dogs relaxing on the sofa watching television while their owners pound the wall when the person in the neighboring apartment is being noisy and saying to themselves--'there they go again, why do they do that?' I blame this line of thinking partially on a comedian/musician named Jim Stafford who years ago as part of a comedy routine asked the question, "Do you ever wonder what your dogs do when you're gone all day?" He said he thought dogs re-arrange the furniture. I had so much fun thinking about that---I really did.

Our dogs do have their good points. Zoey looks so cute and hopeful when she wants to play and if I exercised her to her heart's content I would be a lot thinner! Bo likes to cuddle and has a constant adorable hound dog expression. Petting the dogs is very soothing. I have dogs because they love me, they are fine with my silly jokes, they enthusiastically greet me, and they constantly remind me that simple pleasures are priceless and precious. My grand kids do all this and more and they don't bite the fence. Why do we have dogs?

Where to?

My daughter passed her driver's test last Saturday and that got me to thinking about driving and how much of it I have done in my lifetime. I think it would be interesting if someone kept a log of all the miles they drive from the time they get their license until they stop driving---maybe someone has...

I still have a few memories of my Driver's Ed classes. Once the teacher had us swing by his house and he came out eating something and I complained about him not bringing back something for his drivers. One time I was driving down a curved slope on my way back to the school from a road drive and I got distracted and made a slightly scary over correction to avoid jumping the curb. My teacher stayed very calm and I was very embarrassed but thankful I hadn't crashed. Speaking of crashes--- I also remember a gruesome movie that was shown to all of the Driver's Ed classes. I think it was called mechanized death or something. (An updated version is still shown today) It showed the gory consequences of careless driving. Multiple Driver's Ed classes were packed like sardines in one classroom so I had to stand throughout the entire movie trying hard not to faint (and I don't faint easily). The movie made a lasting impression and for the most part accomplished its purpose of scaring me into being cautious but I think it also had something to do with me not being very eager to drive once I got my license. My Mom would think up errands just to get me driving. Oddly enough, something that helped me relax a bit about driving was riding with a gutsy friend of mine either to college classes or just goofing off. She got a cute little white stick shift Pontiac Sunbird for a graduation gift. She could eat, drink, and shift with the greatest of ease. No worries---

Before I got married I logged most of my driving hours commuting from my home to college. Then there were drives downtown in my little blue Pinto to work at J.C. Penney (I got cheap thrills and good steering practice going quite fast down their parking ramp) and then drives to discos including one clear in Orem---The Disco Palace I think it was called--(I hear laughing but it was truly a big event in an LDS disco queen's life to go to the super cool Disco Palace) that I went to one winter with some friends. I drove in my little Mustang II with a heater and defrost that didn't work. I took blankets for my friends but since even back then I knew it wasn't good to drive with a blanket over your legs, my dancing feet were pretty much frozen by the time I made it home.

After marriage my driving was mainly to and from work and when our first daughter was going on two we moved to a place I had only known before as a turning around spot on Sunday drives. It put us quite a ways from my parents. Although a friend from California once said that what is considered a long commute or drive to a Utahan really isn't long at all. As a stay-at-home mom most of my driving consisted of short trips---to the grocery store, the library, dentist and doctor appointments---the main long trips were to visit my parents

Once my kids were in school and old enough to have social calendars of their own I soon fell--notice I did say fell not slipped-- into the role of Chauffeur Mom. Of course the only thing I had in common with regular chauffeurs was the driving and the waiting. I never had a real smart looking uniform and there were times I wished for a clear divider between myself and the back seats. It would have been soothing to my sometimes frazzled nerves to block out some of the arguing and whining. But on second thought with a divider I would have missed out on a lot of fun and interesting conversations...

All of our kids at one time attended schools out of our neighborhood so I spent a fair amount of time taking my kids to school and picking them up. Luckily we carpooled most of the time. Carpools bring their own unique drama and adventure to daily life---for the most part we were fortunate(blessed in some cases) to be in good ones. After giving me a day off my husband remarked how challenging it must be to get anything done because of my day being so broken up into small windows of time. I think I gave him an 'if you only knew' smile. The days that were not my days to drive did hold a certain amount of luxury. All the school driving was hectic but it definitely had its good times and brings back good memories. It was fun to hear the chatter of the kids. Sometimes they would play games. Sometimes they would be very tired and quiet and sometimes they would have fun listening to our eclectic collection of music. Weird Al, Kermit Unpigged, Cheech Marin's songs for kids, Dr. Demento---were all part of our School Car Pool play list. You can't help but have a good time listening to Miss Piggy and Ozzy Osbourne rock out on Born To Be Wild. Of course in the early days we would listen to a local radio station for kids called The Imagination Station. It was there that we were introduced to such unique songs as Fish Heads and Star Trekin. I enjoyed that station every bit as much as my kids. (okay--maybe even more) It made me giggle and made driving fun. Unfortunately, the station was bought out by Radio Disney which is kind of like your favorite Mom and Pop drive-in being bought out by McDonald's. There goes the uniqueness. Sometimes I felt like the car and I were on autopilot because of traveling the same roads so often to and from school but those days passed all too quickly. For all my complaining, there was actually something comforting driving my kids places. The day you wave to your child as they take off by themselves in the car with a license of their own is the day you know nothing will ever be the same again...

So any way...I have driven many many miles since I got my very first brand new super exciting driver's license and sometimes I love to have someone else drive me places, but after having a mom who wasn't able to drive and watching my Dad have to give up driving and all the independence that goes with it when he got Alzheimer's, I am grateful that I have a license to drive. It does come in handy having your children be drivers (Someday they will probably be taking me to doctor and dentist appointments and hopefully to the library---maybe we can listen to Weird Al---) although at first it is indescribably frightening.

Happy driving! What's the view from your windshield?

Remembering

Before we put the wash out on Monday's wash line---

A good friend of mine pointed out some possible 'false elements' in my analogy in my last blog in which I compared illegal immigrants to thieves who break into my home (which I extended to include my country).

First of all, I really appreciate her sharing the view from her window. In writing a blog I want to share my views but I would also like to have others share their views with me. When I hear what others have to say I gain new perspectives and I give further thought to my opinions and have a stronger desire to broaden my exploration of the topics I choose to write about.

Now back to my analogy...my friend pointed out that the United States has made the laws responsible for allowing the illegal immigrants to help themselves to free education, medical care, etc. In some respects our country does leave the door open with tempting good stuff left out on the counter within easy reach but then sporadically gets angry with intruders taking advantage of such an appealing opportunity. My friend mentioned how shameful it is that people are deported in the middle of the night and families are torn apart because suddenly the United States decides to tighten those laws that have been so loose. She also pointed out that the United States often makes it a ridiculously long and difficult process for people to obtain legal residence. All of these points are valid and well made. They are also well taken. The United States has been wishy washy at best and hypocritical at worst when it comes to matters of immigration. We would do well in this country to put our energies and passion into correcting or changing ineffectual laws and defending our constitution instead of into name calling, side-taking, and venomous attitudes toward other people.

If I leave my home unattended and the doors open then when someone comes onto my property and helps themselves to my possessions then yes, I need to be more responsible in properly safeguarding my home but the person is still trespassing and they are still guilty of a crime. People commit crimes for various reasons. Some people just want to take because they can or because they feel they have a right of some sort, others take because they feel they have no choice. I wonder what I would do if I felt like the only way to properly take care of my family and give them a future would be to flee my country? How would I feel about the tantalizing freedoms just across the border and what would I do to obtain them?

It is obviously necessary and wise to protect and defend our borders. Laws need to be clearly defined and consistently enforced. People from other countries should be welcome but should also be understanding of our cause for caution. People who want to really immigrate need to want to become Americans. This doesn't mean that they should be expected to give up all ties to their native country or turn their backs on their heritage. It would be un-American of us to expect that but welcoming positive cultural contributions is a very American thing to do. Notice I say positive contributions---not all cultural customs are good (Including some American cultural customs). Some should be left behind because they contributed to the reasons for wanting to leave the home country in the first place. I think sometimes we have become so engrossed with embracing diversity in our country that we end up giving a cold shoulder to unity. Elder Dallin H. Oaks said that diversity is a means to an end not an end---unity should be the end goal. I really like the Oxford Dictionary definition of unity from an artistic perspective: the state of forming a complete and pleasing whole. Each of us regardless of ethnic background should bring our best to forming a more perfect union---building a strong nation under God with liberty and justice for all. (Yes, here is where music by the Tabernacle Choir fades in...)
That's enough for now...

Today is Memorial Day---a day to pause and think about the fact that freedom has a cost. Our freedoms have been won and defended at the sacrifice of young promising lives. We enjoy the personal circumstances in which we live because of sacrifices of those who have gone before us in our families. Today is a day to remember and to be grateful.

When I was a kid Memorial Day was a day of visiting the cemetery and having a backyard barbeque. The day began with cutting bouquets of lilacs, irises, snowballs, and peonies and putting them in a bucket of water to take to the cemetery. It was my job to hold the bucket securely between my feet. We would stop and pick up my grandma on our way to Elysian Gardens in Salt Lake. That was the only cemetery we visited because my Dad's deceased family members were all buried in Texas. My sister spooked me by telling me that it was bad luck to step on grave stones. I used to worry about what would happen to me if I came close at all to the markers. I was fascinated by reading the markers and wondering about the lives of those who rested there. The cemetery was like one epic drama with a variety of characters and time periods and numerous story lines but only scattered details. There were elements of tragedy and true love, valor and mystery. To this day I thoroughly enjoy walking through cemetaries. For the most part they are peaceful and lend themselves to quiet contemplation. However, I don't think I would relish walking through one at night. Cemeteries are resting places but some people seem to rest more serenely than others...

It seems like older people are the main denizens of decorating cemeteries. They most likely have a greater conscious appreciation for the value of life and of remembering. They have grown closer to those whose graves they visit both in a physical sense and in a spiritual sense. My mother-in-law was just saying how hard it was for her now to go to the cemeteries and that it was our(my husband and I) turn to take up the tradition. I have never been very consistent about making the cemetery rounds on Memorial Day. I think I just might correct that. Cemeteries do more than honor the dead--- they celebrate life. Cemeteries decorated with flowers and balloons and pinwheels show that life continues. The sting of death was truly taken away through the resurrection of Jesus Christ. Life and death co-exist in mortality. Death is not the end of living and the grave is not the final resting place but it does seem appropriate that our deceased physical bodies rest in the bosom of the earth until they are joined with our spirits in eternal life.
Memorial Day is the first entry in a parade of long summer days. It is a day of breaking out the barbeque grill and dusting off the outside furniture. When I was a kid it was one of the first days (after Field Day at school) that I was allowed to wear sun suits(remember those?) or shorts.
Snow shovels have been moved behind rakes in the shed. Christmas lights are gathering dust while wind chimes are washed and hung. Coats and sweaters have been pushed back into the dark recesses of closets. Sno Shacks have popped up as spots of color in asphalt gardens. Salads sound much better than soup and the thought of homemade icecream makes our mouths water. Summer is coming...Do you notice that our anticipation of a wonderful summer ahead is heightened by our memories of summers past?

Bordering on Insanity or Who Gets Left Out in the Cold?

If I did have Monday's wash hung out today it would be cold and soggy and drooping under a wet Spring snow---kind of like my vegetable plants and Spring flowers...I'll hope and pray for the hardiness and survival of my endangered flora and be very grateful for my clothes dryer on a day like today.

I have been thinking about immigration. I know that is currently a tumultuous topic so I will tread carefully. (However, I won't try and walk on egg shells because I don't know that I am very good at it--but I will at least try and be careful) I will also preface my remarks with an admission that I am pretty simple-minded when it comes to matters of a political nature and I do tend to be led more by my feelings than by my thoughts when it comes to topics of controversy.

I am trying to grasp just how to feel and what to think about immigration and to decide which side of the debate I am on. I do know that I have read some newspaper articles that have not set well with me. These articles tell of the unfair treatment of illegal immigrants, how upset the President of Mexico is with the United States for how they are dealing with people from his country illegally crossing our borders, and how angry people in the United States are with Arizona for employing stronger measures to secure their borders and ensure the safety of their citizens. There is something not right with these perspectives. Like I said, they do not set well with me---kind of like a type of food that many people say is good and try to get you eat but it tastes a little off, it's a bit hard to swallow and doesn't digest smoothly...all leading me to wonder just how good it is...

I find that analogies help me to better process information so here goes...

The United States of America is my home. My state of Utah, my city of Riverton, my community, my neighborhood, the street where I live, and my very hearth and home all act simultaneously as important arteries that pump the lifeblood from the heart of America which is freedom and veins that keep the freedom circulating.

Many homes in America, including my own, have locks on their doors and fences around their outlying property. Is this because we are selfish and don't want to share? No. It is to protect our families and to defend what we have worked hard to obtain. It doesn't mean we lack generosity or compassion it just means we are trying to be wise stewards. It has been evidenced time and time again in the past that The United States of America is the country that provides not only opportunity but protection and aid. It is the country that takes care of its own and reaches out to others. But the reason it has been such a strong and prosperous country that is strong enough to be a valuable ally is because it has been a wise and prudent country both in matters of defense and diplomacy.

I would not take kindly to people sneaking in my back door or breaking in through a basement window to help themselves to my family's food or clothing or bank accounts and how would I feel about these people complaining about the quality of what they were taking or what would I think if they claimed to be victims of my anger or unfair treatment of them? But what if these people didn't have all of the resources and opportunities that I do? Then I would be much more willing to help them if they came to the front door. I would be sad, frightened, and greatly surprised if my neighbors accused me of being mean if I didn't continue to let people break into my house and help themselves to my belongings. It would be much more sane and productive if my neighbors worked with me on coming up with a solution to the problem.

I have no problem with America welcoming people from other countries but if those people decide to move in then they need to abide by the house rules. They need to learn the language, obey the laws, and do what they can to contribute to the country's greatness. I expect no less of my children in my home and America should expect no less from it's citizens. This is the difference between adopting a country as your own and kidnapping a country and holding it for ransom. When boundaries are blurred, rules are only weakly enforced and consequences are inappropriate for the choices made or non-existent then confusion contaminates cooperation and chaos rules. When this is the climate in a home then children are spoiled, do not learn self-sufficiency or responsibility for their actions, and are very likely to rebel and destroy the peace. When this is the climate of a country then its citizens become at best apathetic and at worst tyrannical and the country is well on its way to crumbling or falling under the rule of those who only care about their own freedom.

I think the President of Mexico should be concentrating on how to strengthen and improve his country instead of pilfering a right to complain about unfair treatment of his people who are fleeing his country. That seems similar to neglectful parents who sue their neighbor because their unsupervised children get injured after sneaking into the neighbor's yard. Arizona's new law as I understand it could lead to inconvenience or unfair bias for legal immigrants but as my husband pointed out...even meter maids can be biased against whoever...all laws can be abused if we allow them to be---look at the laws about entering our country. We always hope to have sensible people enforcing our laws and should do all we can to make that happen. I have heard that this law would actually in some ways prevent racial profiling. Arizona has had a lot of problems with drug trafficking and kidnappings. I think they are just trying harder to defend their home by exercising reasonable and warranted caution. It is sad that so many of their fellow Americans fail to see this and think that it is somehow offensive to ask people to identify themselves.

I do think there are companies and individuals in the United States who have taken advantage of illegal immigrants. I think many of us have benefited in some way by illegal immigrants being overworked and underpaid. Because of this I think the United States bears a responsibility to find some sensible way to help those illegal immigrants who want to become law-abiding contributing citizens of the United States of America and who have already made positive contributions. I think that many involved in the immigration debate are not thinking clearly. I think many who are in favor of relaxing our border control and complete amnesty are confusing generosity with vulnerability and that is endangering our country. There are some on the other side of the issue who are so angry with illegal immigrants that their anger can turn into consuming hatred and rampant prejudice that threatens brotherly love that can foster an atmosphere of peace and respect. I also think that many people in politics are more concerned with popularity and personal agendas than they are with the principles on which America was founded and what will truly be best for our country. The voice of the people is all too often drowned out by the self-serving mantras shouted by the media. Common sense used to be highly valued by Americans but now it seems there are those who consider it to be overrated. Perhaps we all need to tread more carefully and not only be careful where we step but in what direction our chosen path will lead us. God Bless America---please. What do you think?

Well the view outside my window is much more cheering than it was earlier. The snow has melted, the sun is out, and it looks as if most of our plants will survive. Being hung out to dry can be positive when it comes to wash or wet plants...

The Answer To The Question

Real Quick---Regarding my last post: The Willy Wonka fruit candies in the tin are called Fruit Marvels and the reason I chose the fruit jellies and marvels is because they contain 25% fruit juice which is more than twice the amount in a lot of fruit drinks. (And because they come in cute containers and I'm a sucker for candy---Did someone say suckers?)

On to more serious topics...
Many breaking news stories cause us to ask the question, "Why?" Recently there were two stories that brought that question front and center in the minds of people all over the world. The stories were about two young boys. One boy survived an airplane crash that killed all the other 103 passengers including his parents and his brother. The other boy could have been saved by the woman who gave birth to him but wasn't and didn't survive the brutality of the man who mattered more to his mother than her own son. The 'why' question frequently turns into the 'how' question. It is easy to wonder how Ruben, the boy who miraculously survived the plane crash, ended up still in his seat bruised and broken but alive, surrounded by death and destruction. And of course the story of little Ethan, the boy who died from horrendous abuse at the hands of his mother's boyfriend, makes any rational decent human being wonder how a man could do such horrible things to a four year old child.

There are many guesses as to how and why Ruben survived. My favorite answer to the why was given by one of his doctors, God saved him because he isn't finished with what he is supposed to accomplish in this life. (Not a direct quote, but along those lines) Ruben is healing. Ruben lost those family members closest to him but his remaining family---his grandparents, aunts and uncles are taking him into a loving environment where he can grieve, find answers to his questions about what happened, and hopefully heal physically and emotionally. I believe he will go on to finish what he needs to in this life and that he will feel his parents and brother with him and that someday they will all meet again and catch up on what everyone's been doing.

Ethan's family has lost him, at least for now. I don't consider the man who murdered him part of his family and I question whether to even consider his mother as part of his family, but his father and many others mourn him and what could have been. I believe that just as Ruben was taken home by people who loved him and rejoiced at his survival, Ethan was taken home to heal in the loving embrace of Heavenly Father who will answer his questions and rejoice in his safety and happiness.

In a radio broadcast following Ethan's death and the discovery of the abuse and the part Ethan's mother played in the descecration of her son's body to hide the evil deed, one of Ethan's neighbors asked the question, "Where do these monsters come from?" That is both a good question and a disturbing one. I look at pictures of Ethan's mother and of the man who murdered Ethan and I try to picture them as children---as innocent babies. Don't we all start out that way? How did they go from innocent child to someone who seems to have such little value for human life--who has such darkness in their heart--someone who can do something so heinous to a defenseless and innocent child---someone who is... a monster?

We are all composites of our environments, circumstances, and experiences. I believe our mortality comes from the dust of the earth. Our bodies are very earth-like---having many elements in common with the earth. But our bodies clothe a divinely created spirit. The point of this life is to 'put off the natural man'---to arise from the dust, shake it off, to allow ourselves to be refined into more than what we are. Then our spirits will master our bodies and both will come together into an exalted soul. Of course this can only be accomplished by following the example of Jesus Christ and accepting his atoning sacrifice. Eternal life is all about progression. Damnation is ceasing to progress. (My wise husband brought this truth to my awareness) Recently I was listening to tapes of The Silmarillion by Tolkien. It told of how a group of elves were captured by a creator who refused to be in harmony with the other creators and brought discord and that through ages of torture and enslavement the beautiful elves became ugly vile creatures called orcs who served their evil master. Human monsters aren't really creations but distortions of creation. Each one of us is capable of becoming a monster if we allow ourselves to be captured by evil or to be deceived by distorted truth. We are children of God but we are also less than the dust of the Earth. To be children of God does not insure that we will be heirs with God. That is something that takes faith and work and obedience.

All children go through a phase where they are terrified of monsters; the kind that lurk under the bed, or wait in dark corners, or hide in the back of the closet. As they get older they learn that those monsters are not real but that monsters do exist. It is so very sad that for many children monsters come in the form of people who should love them and protect them and those monsters are very real and very dangerous. Jesus loves little children. During his earthly ministry he gathered them to him and ministered unto them and loved them and he told his disciples to not turn away little children for of such is the kingdom of heaven. Because of the depth of his love I know that in cases where little children like Ethan suffer fear and torment and pain Jesus has suffered with them and angels are sent to help them endure just as an angel was sent to strengthen Jesus in Gethsemane, and when it is time for them to be taken home they continue to be encircled in the arms of Jesus' love.

The world is full of miracles and horrors and of Rubens and Ethans who remind us that some questions are hard to answer. We rejoice over the Rubens and hurt and grieve for the Ethans. There are all kinds of survivors. There is more to living than surviving and more to surviving than living. I find wisdom that helps me as a mortal in Proverbs 3:5,6 Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.

Monday's Wash Line on Wednesday

I need more hours in my day so that I can write everyday! Either that or I just need to love writing more than sleeping, eating, reading etc. I do love writing and it drives me crazy when I don't get to sit down and do it, but I frequently let too many other things but in line--some of them have a right to but others I should be better at standing up to.

Anyway... here are some random thoughts I thought I would air out---

On Saturday, I took my daughter to get a haircut. There was a little boy who came in and his mother was leaving him there with his dad while she ran someplace else. She said it was his first time to get a salon cut so she hoped he wouldn't panic. Being a mother I could understand her feelings but she said something as she left that puzzled me. She told him goodbye and then she said, "If you're good you can use your knife at dinner tonight." I'm sure there is a perfectly sensible story behind her statement but my daughter and I had a lot of sinister fun exploring the possibilities...We hoped that a knife wasn't the only utensil he got to use. What if they were having soup for dinner? "Now Son, just be glad we're having chicken noodle soup and not tomato." Maybe he had to do some other good thing to earn the use of his spoon or fork. My daughter came up with lots of other 'If you're good-s'. If you're good you can run with scissors. If you're good you can play in the street. If you're good you can have a food fight with your brother. Bizarre I know, but we had some great giggles.

Also on Saturday I made quite the find while perusing the candy aisle at Wal Mart. (I frequently peruse candy aisles either because I am looking for a splurge, I feel fat and I want just a little more motivation to do something about it, I don't just have a sweet tooth but a whole mouthful, or because I am trying to eat right and I want to reminisce about more carefree skinny times) I found some new Willy Wonka candies. Apparently Willy Wonka has a new line called Exceptionals. This struck me as funny (also my daughter-she didn't strike me as funny--that time anyway--but she also found the name entertaining) because of the combination of Wonka and Exceptional. I love Willy Wonka--the Roald Dahl character---both the Gene Wilder and Johnny Depp movie versions--and the candy, but I think most people would agree that Willy Wonka is outrageous and crazy. The word wonky means off-center. So...Willy Wonka Exceptionals is kind of like Daffy Duck's Delectables---just funny. Anyway, I purchased some Willy Wonka Exceptional Fruit Jellies-grapefruit flavor and a cute round tin of Willy Wonka Exceptional Fruit Drops (I don't remember if that was the exact name)--pomegranate flavor--they are hard on the outside with a jelly center.Both are 'lightly dusted with sugar'. They are very good. Pricey but good. Actually there are some chocolate bars in the Exceptionals line as well and Nestle is even sponsoring a Golden Ticket contest with a trip around the world as Grand Prize. I went to the web site to see the official rules and I couldn't help but chuckle when it said No Purchase Necessary to Win. Well then how do you slowly open the wrapper and wait with mouthwatering anticipation to catch a glimpse of gold? You can't have that experience without first buying the candy! (That would truly be an exceptional experience)

Today I was putting on my eyeshadow and really looked at the label. It is called Beyond Natural. I couldn't help but wonder what is beyond natural? That's like saying lets get Back to Beyond Basics. How about Beyond Beautiful or Beyond Youthful---those sound fun...or scary. In the words of Buzz Lightyear,"To infinity and beyond!" Does anyone know what's beyond infinity? Anyway, my eyes look beyond natural and hopefully that's a good thing.

How Many Miles Did I Put On Me In The Last Week?

The past 7 days have been quite eventful. I helped my daughter move out of her dorm, attended our youngest daughter's dance concert, played with my grandchildren while their mother fixed me a heavenly early birthday breakfast (Like that was real hard!), celebrated my birthday and Mother's Day, received a new church calling (After a 16 year absense I am back in Primary--as a counselor in the presidency--I hope I still have what it takes-- I don't know if I do but if I have faith then Heavenly Father will help me find what I need--I will probably be writing more about this later), and drove with my family to move our college age daughter to Arizona for her Summer job.

Having a birthday the same day as Mother's Day shouldn't be that big of a deal but it has never set well with my selfish side. I decided ahead of time that I could choose to feel old and guilty on this 2-in1 eventful day ( I could have received black balloons for two decades now--and there is the usual Mother's Day dose of guilt) or youthful and grateful. I think receiving a new church calling the same day as the two big celebrations was indeed a blessing. It helped me opt for the youthful and grateful path and I had a lovely day. My day was made more lovely by the fact that my son called to wish me a Happy Birthday/Mother's Day. I haven't heard from him, other than one brief text, in months. I found out later that my youngest daughter had reminded him of what day it was but the call still meant a lot to me. (I really appreciated the fact that my daughter cared enough to remind her brother--double treat) The day was also delightful because I got to share the celebration with my oldest daughter who is a wonderful mother to my grandchildren and my husband's mother who is definitely high on my list of reasons why I am glad I married my husband. My husband and two youngest daughters took care of dinner and cleaning up. I ate too much but life was good...

Our trip to Arizona was quick and tiring but enjoyable. Driving is good thinking time. I found it interesting what kinds of things brought a smile to my face as the miles added up. I smiled as I saw a very long freight train in the distance. It had three engines. Perhaps I smiled because I have always felt strangely proud of the fact that as a teenager my father hopped freight trains to make his way to California from Texas. That always sounded so adventurous! Another possible reason for smiling at a passing train were happy memories of counting train cars as a kid and waiting for the caboose so I could wave at the men inside. I guess children (and some adults) take pleasure in waving to passing strangers and having them wave back because it is kind of like hopping trains and traveling to unknown places. When we connect for a moment in time with a stranger or fellow traveler in life's journey we move beyond our small worlds... Seeing baby cows made me smile too. I know the correct term is calves but that reminds me of legs so I prefer baby cows. They are so cute. They don't lumber along like their mothers but they kind of skip. They don't just stand in the sunshine, they frolic. I guess my fondness for baby cows explains why I refuse to eat veal but I am okay with other kinds of beef. Anyway... I also smiled while listening to my husband and daughter in the back seat singing along with classic rock songs from the 70s. They did quite the rousing duet on Black Water by the Doobie Brothers. My youngest daughter was driving at the time and she is not at all a fan of classic rock and even less a fan of her dad and sister singing along with it. However, a few times I could see just a hint of a smile creep into her look of disgust.

Driving is like a narcotic to me. It is very hard for me to stay awake while driving for long distances (Long meaning anything over about 20 miles) so thankfully my husband is much better at staying awake. I do my best to try and make sure he stays awake and I use this important duty as an excuse to consume way too much sugar on road trips. I still spend a fair amount of time dozing. It was kind of scary at one point to wake up to my husband and daughter in the back seat loudly telling my youngest daughter to get back on the road. They had her hook up some cable for an Ipod so she veered a little and came close to going off the road into the gravel. I couldn't really say much because my husband had just reminded me that I needed to stop distracting my daughter by pointing things out to her. I do that to my husband all the time. What can I say, I just like to share what I see...It was amazing that I fell asleep with my daughter at the wheel. Usually having one of my teenage children drive works much better than sugar at keeping me wide awake.

We got to help move my daughter's stuff into her dorm. I told her it was appropriate that we had listened to music from Newsies on the way because that is what her dorm reminded me of---Newsie or orphan accomodations---but clean and cozy in a way---a long narrow room with a row of bunk beds on each side. Each girl gets a bed, 3 drawers and about 18 inches of closet space to call her own. There are showers and bathrooms and an open area with mirrors and sinks. There is also a rec room downstairs. I admire my daughter's courage and sense of adventure. She feels like this is where she is supposed to be right now and I feel that way too. She will get to meet lots of people from all over and she will get to learn about different cultures and about waitressing and selling tourists treasures in gift shops. I didn't get a chance to give her a little motherly advice...I was going to remind her of something my husband has taught me, that if you face things that are difficult it is much better to think of them as challenges and even better to think of them as adventures. People don't sign up for problems but they are up for a good challenge and they even pay good money for adventures! I can hardly wait to hear all about my daughter's summer freight train hopping. Her younger sister decided that the whole thing looked like being at camp for 3 months. That idea was distasteful and disturbing to my baby who is quite the homebody and not very appealing to my oldest daughter who is adventurous but highly values personal space and comforts of home. (My son, who once lived in a cave, would probably relish the idea of some real freight train hopping) I have often referred to my middle daughter as my gypsy child. When she was younger she always enjoyed playing at her friends' houses and she has always wanted to explore what the world has to offer outside of her home state. She is in for quite the interesting summer.

We spent the night at our daughter's new home away from home (with tourist not orphan accomodations) and woke up to a few snow flurries. By the time we were sitting at the counter in the coffee shop eating breakfast the flurries had turned into a major freakish spring snowstorm.
A young man with his belongings on his back came in from the cold and another patron told him to 'have himself some breakfast'. The young man was visibly grateful for the generous offer and sat down a couple of seats away from us. We talked about the weather and he said he had been hitchhiking for a month. He had started out in Pennsylvannia and didn't seem to have any long range plans beyond going somewhere warm. He asked what day it was and exclaimed with surprise that it was his 19th birthday. I wished him a happy birthday but after we ate I felt an impression that I should do something more for him. My husband went along with my gesture. He frequently will indulge my impulses but sometimes he just hopes they pass without causing too much trouble or embarrassment. My youngest daughter helped me pick out a t-shirt in the same gift shop my other daughter would be working in in a few minutes and I wrote a brief note on a card. (While we did that I heard him telling the waitress it was his birthday and another employee gave him a bag of cookies from the bakery) My daughter and husband hung back while I presented the hasty gift to the young man. He seemed surprised but grateful. A few words passed between us and then our family headed out the door to brave the storm and head for home. I had already given my daughter a good-bye hug but she came out to say one last good-bye while her dad was cleaning snow off the car. It was snowing so hard that I didn't notice her until she was hurrying back inside the lodge so I got out of the car and called, "Good-bye, I love you." Some man getting into a big truck called back, "I love you too!" I chuckled as I got back in the car. It occurred to me as we were heading down to lower elevations that maybe it wasn't really that young man's birthday. Maybe he used that ploy to get people to give him stuff. I hoped if he wasn't telling the truth that maybe the kindnesses he was shown would at least prick his heart a little. I refused to feel bad about my decision. If he was telling the truth then he knows there is goodness in the world. If he was lying he still knows there is goodness in the world and someday he might feel sorry for lying but I, on the other hand, most likely will not feel sorry for making a gesture of kindness.

Note: It would be easier and less confusing to use the names of my children and grandchildren in these posts but I am not very blog- savvy so I am paranoid about giving out too much info. Maybe I'll make up some names...that sounds fun.

Go find some freight trains to hop. Enjoy!