One of my two youngest daughters was talking with me this weekend about a crush she has on someone at school...actually both of my single daughters have crushes right now. My daughter just couldn't stop thinking about a certain young man and that had her feeling a little crazy. I think in the case of a crush that your heart locks your brain in a room and while giving it very little nourishment and no exercise or fresh air forces it to focus on everything it knows about one person. The heart forces the brain to remember every detail about the slightest interaction. Was he staring at you or did you have something in your teeth? Was that a smile in your direction or a nervous tic? Was that a look of possible admiration or mild irritation? The interrogation is relentless and exhausting. Your body is on auto-pilot during your brain's captivity and you walk around dazed and confused.
A term caught my attention in the dictionary a couple of weeks ago. The term is crumple zone. I would have thought it referred to the part of your shirt or dress or skirt that wrinkles when you sit down but it refers to "a part of a motor vehicle, esp. the extreme front and rear, designed to crumple easily in a crash and absorb the main force of an impact".
Perhaps our hearts have crumple zones. Just change motor vehicle to human heart, crash to crush, and insert infatuation in front of impact. The really interesting thing is that the word crush is on the same page as crumple zone in my dictionary and its main definition has to do with squeezing and force and injury. Our hearts would need some type of protection during those impetuous and passionate years of our youth when we begin seriously searching for that person who makes us whole---who makes it past the crumple zone and impacts our heart in a way we hadn't imagined. Crushes leave little scratches and dents on our hearts that cause some grief but can be hammered out. First loves can cause more serious damage and leave our hearts limping along, barely driveable, but your heart can be made better than new by 'the real thing'. (True love not Coke)
I remember the first man that registered as handsome to me was Chistopher Plummer in The Sound of Music. He had chisled features and twinkly eyes. I was all of seven when the movie came out but I knew that the way he looked at Maria was something truly special. I moved on to a crush on a boy in my sixth grade class who had a nice smile and was smart and said funny things. He signed my dance card for the Sixth Grade Dance and I was so excited...but the dance got cancelled---my heart's first fender-bender. After that I ran into sweet feelings for a boy in my 8th grade Geography class who treated me nicely and made me feel special...his girlfriend didn't seem so nice---I was disappointed , puzzled, and well...a little crushed. After that there were crushes on more movie stars and teen heartthrobs, teachers, and co-workers. Then of course there was first love...the boy I thought was my first love, I realized later that my husband was my real first love. I was having a hard time remembering what my crushes really felt like and I thought it was because I am getting old but I think it is really because now that my heart has felt the impact of true (notice I didn't say 'real' because crushes do involve real feelings) love that the crushes only left behind small scratches in comparison that are hardly noticeable anymore. Most of the stories behind the scratches bring gentle smiles at most.
Crushes are quick thrill rides that prepare our hearts for longer more meaningful journeys. They can be truly exciting and exhilarating but they usually come and go. Your heart can feel the power of being in charge but it needs to be a kind captor and let your brain see the light of day now and then.
What do you see up ahead?
