Hi! I haven't had time this week to sit down and write but I have had lots of thoughts dancing around my brain. I would make a joke here about the thoughts having plenty of room to dance-alluding to big empty spaces but I think my brain is quite cluttered and that is why my thoughts get distracted or tripped up while trying to glide along mental pathways.
Anyway...A friend of mine recently made an insightful comment (she makes several) in her blog about romance and that got me to thinking about romance which despite its elusive qualities can be quite a lovely subject to ponder. Romance is dictionary defined as a feeling of excitement and mystery associated with love or a sentimental or idealized type of love. In other words we have a tough time wrapping our brains around romance but we know what it feels like.
Years ago my husband and I met a charming older couple who told us that dancing keeps romance alive in a marriage. They had been going dancing together every week for the 40 years of married life. I talked my husband into watching Dancing With The Stars with me last week. (I really don't think that counts as dancing together but hey-there were many other things my husband would have rather spent his time doing, like flossing his teeth or something but he endured the show because he said he enjoys spending time with me...that's romantic) I am not a regular viewer of Dancing With The Stars. (I am keeping up my fight against watching too much TV) It is kind of a glitzy popularity contest but it does have its good points and I am a sucker for watching ballroom dancing. (Besides my daughter talked me into watching it this season because she wanted to watch Evan Lysacek, the olympic gold medalist from the U.S.A., who she thinks is nice...and cute.) Interestingly, DWTS was having a Night of Romance as their theme. After watching just a few minutes of the show my husband said he doesn't think they understand the meaning of romance. With a guest performer dressed like a Victoria's Secret model (personally I think Victoria needs to be a lot better at keeping secrets), several sexual innuendos, and dancing that went a few steps too far into suggestive for my tastes, I agreed with my husband. Fred and Ginger dancing cheek to cheek were much better at defining romance.
Romance seems to be little understood and poorly portrayed in television these days but we can look to the silver screen for wonderful romantic moments. My copy of the A&E version of Pride and Prejudice ( Colin Firth is Mr. Darcy in my opinion) probably has extra wear in some sections because of hitting rewind to watch certain scenes over again. The way Mr. Darcy looks at Elizabeth while she is playing the fortepiano...he looks at her with such admiration and pure pleasure. Romance isn't a stare or a leer but an appreciative and longing glance. If a person's eyes are windows to their soul then one needs to not look into them like a peeping Tom but more like a lover of fine art. There is a scene in the latest version of Sabrina where Julia Ormond and Harrison Ford are standing very close to each other and she asks him who cuts his hair and reaches out and touches his hair. When she touches him you can hear his soft intake of breath. Romance isn't about heavy breathing but about a feeling that catches your breath and releases it in a contented sigh. In The Sound of Music (I know I already mentioned this movie in a blog but it was my first brush with a handsome man and romance and it left a lasting impression on my seven year-old mind) when Captain Von Trapp and Maria are outside in the gazebo and the Captain reveals his feelings for Maria, he puts his hand under her chin and lifts her face to his. Romance isn't a grab but a loving caress. In the Disney/Pixar movie UP it showed a relationship grow and mature into something sweet and beautiful and unforgettable. It showed two people becoming one. Romance isn't the heat of the moment but the warm glow of years together.
Romance is subtle but unmistakeable. It is gentle but heart-hitting strong. Romantic tables are set with candle light not spotlights. Romance makes idealized love attainable and makes forever love desirable. We can read romance novels or watch romantic movies but we can find romance in real life. Romance is uniquely expressed. Once when I commented how incredible it would be to be looked at in the way Mr. Darcy looked at Elizabeth, my husband ran across the room and gave me his best Mr. Darcy intense gaze. The gaze wasn't romantic, it made me giggle, but the gesture was very romantic. He did it to please me. Romance can be real if we make it real. It takes work and focus and graceful movement---kind of like dancing.
