I mentioned at the end of my last post that I would say more about airport security screening. Well here it is...
Over the Christmas holidays our family got interested in a television series (via netflix---netflix is kind of like a metal detector--sometimes it will uncover treasures but only after uncovering a substantial amount of worthless refuse) called Lie to Me. It is about a group of psychologists whose specialty is reading micr0 facial expressions and body language which they apply to solving various cases--mostly of a criminal nature. The whole 'reading' thing is fascinating but unfortunately after the first season the show seemed to follow a familiar path for modern television dramas---once the producers hook people with an intriguing premise and interesting characters they start throwing in more sex and violence as if competing to see just how depraved they can make the criminal cases and just how non-private they can make the private lives of the regular characters. (I have fallen for several appealing lures only to find, like a hooked fish, that they are not only non-nourishing but not palatable---they get stuck in my throat and I wiggle around until I hopefully escape before being completely reeled in) Anyway......in the show there is a woman who is a natural at reading facial expressions and body language who is actually working for the Transportation Security Agency when she is spotted and hired by the two main psychologists. This finally leads me to my proposal for more efficient less intrusive airport security screening----
First have large screens that would show each passenger and then have teams of these trained psychologists (preferably all natural born talents in reading micro facial expressions and body language) study the screens. Anyone not passing their 'screen test' would have to step aside into a booth where a psychologist would do a face to face analysis to detect any potential threats. Anyone working as a member of these a-teams of impressive psychologists would have the extra incentive of possibly starting their own company or even being offered their own TV series.
After being carefully scrutinized by hypersensitive psychologists passengers would then need to pass through a line of well seasoned mothers. We all know from experience how good mothers are at knowing when some thing's up and especially how hard it is to hide anything from them. Considering all the blame mothers as a group have received from the profession of psychology it would be a bit of poetic justice to have the psychologists' work double-checked by a group of mothers...
If people weren't posing a threat but just hiding hurt feelings or insecurities then they could receive several motherly hugs and even some quick motherly advice making for much happier passengers. (Of course the mothers would have to be specially trained in non-meddling or it could take a while to get through the lines)
If the passengers make it past the psychologists and the mothers then they will just need to pass through some trained bomb sniffing dogs (I endure this everyday upon arriving home only it isn't bombs my dogs are sniffing) and then they will be allowed to fly the hopefully friendlier skies.
I think these innovative methods of airport security screening could work and all without taking off your shoes, being too thoroughly frisked or being violated by x-ray vision body scanners (which are of no medical benefit and will probably soon be found to cause cancer).
Seriously I think we should be thankful that we live in a country where someone is concerned for our safety and tries to take precautions to protect us but I do question the effectiveness of current methods. We all learn early in life that sometimes we get extra homework because someone else was misbehaving so we should be willing to trade some convenience for security but when it comes to airport security these days the line between protecting freedoms and violating them seems to be a fine line.
Today the sun is shining and making the snow sparkle. I feel like I could be in a snow globe surrounded by a crystal clear sky---as long as no one shakes it and gets the snow falling---- of course if I still pretended to be in a snow globe then the snow would be fun---that is the point of snow globes...
How is your view of the globe?
Take good care!
Tuesday, February 8, 2011
Thursday, February 3, 2011
A good friend of mine who is very observant and apparently much better at math than I am pointed out that it hasn't been 10 months since my last post, only 6. I don't know how to explain my miscalculation---perhaps I was thinking of April instead of August or maybe it is because I seem to sometimes go on mini-vacations to another dimension...
That got me thinking about the twilight zone---not the television show--which was interesting but creepy--not the peppy song of that name by The Manhattan Transfer--although I like that song and I can relate to it--but I am speaking of the twilight zone that describes well...another dimension of time and space where things are a little skewed.
That got me to thinking about twilight---not the book about sparkling 90-year-old vampires with teenage angst---but the adjective used to describe a period of gradual decline. I have heard of someone being referred to as being in the twilight of their lives...this is to mean they are declining in years---their time is waning like the sunlight at the end of day.
That got me to thinking about where I am in my life. Perhaps I am in the afternoon of my life---my kids would probably say late afternoon judging by their sometimes harsh reminders of my age . Afternoon...just after lunch--a good time to take a walk and ponder the events of a morning that seems to be both minutes away and almost part of another day. Afternoon...a time to feel a pressing need to get things done while daylight is burning--to revel in the long stretching out of the day. Afternoon...a time to think about the coming evening which could hold excitement bathed in moonlight and stars or long hours of quietly apprehensive darkness or probably both. Afternoon...a good time for a light snack and a quick nap...
Did you know that twilight zone also refers to the lowest level of the ocean to which light can penetrate? (I admit to referring frequently to the dictionary---it is a wonderful place that I have enjoyed visiting ever since I learned to read) Perhaps it is wise to not go deeper than light can penetrate--either in exploring the depths of the ocean or the depths of thought...Hmmm...
Here is a totally unrelated thought (I know you are not surprised in the least--or in the most)
The TSA is testing a more polite body scanning software for airports. Could the body scanners double as medical scanners then at least if we have to have our privacy invaded to protect us we could find out if we have any health concerns...
More thoughts to come on suggestions for airport security...
Have a wonderful day whatever part of the day you claim!
That got me thinking about the twilight zone---not the television show--which was interesting but creepy--not the peppy song of that name by The Manhattan Transfer--although I like that song and I can relate to it--but I am speaking of the twilight zone that describes well...another dimension of time and space where things are a little skewed.
That got me to thinking about twilight---not the book about sparkling 90-year-old vampires with teenage angst---but the adjective used to describe a period of gradual decline. I have heard of someone being referred to as being in the twilight of their lives...this is to mean they are declining in years---their time is waning like the sunlight at the end of day.
That got me to thinking about where I am in my life. Perhaps I am in the afternoon of my life---my kids would probably say late afternoon judging by their sometimes harsh reminders of my age . Afternoon...just after lunch--a good time to take a walk and ponder the events of a morning that seems to be both minutes away and almost part of another day. Afternoon...a time to feel a pressing need to get things done while daylight is burning--to revel in the long stretching out of the day. Afternoon...a time to think about the coming evening which could hold excitement bathed in moonlight and stars or long hours of quietly apprehensive darkness or probably both. Afternoon...a good time for a light snack and a quick nap...
Did you know that twilight zone also refers to the lowest level of the ocean to which light can penetrate? (I admit to referring frequently to the dictionary---it is a wonderful place that I have enjoyed visiting ever since I learned to read) Perhaps it is wise to not go deeper than light can penetrate--either in exploring the depths of the ocean or the depths of thought...Hmmm...
Here is a totally unrelated thought (I know you are not surprised in the least--or in the most)
The TSA is testing a more polite body scanning software for airports. Could the body scanners double as medical scanners then at least if we have to have our privacy invaded to protect us we could find out if we have any health concerns...
More thoughts to come on suggestions for airport security...
Have a wonderful day whatever part of the day you claim!
Monday, January 31, 2011
Surfaces
Well it has been almost ten months since I last posted my blog. Ten months----that is about 304 days. I will not try to begin to explain the long absence only that I have thought about coming back for quite some time. It is amazing how sometimes when we try to get back to something it is like those dreams when we are trying to make it somewhere but we keep getting lost somewhere else...
A (somewhat ) quick summary of impressions of life since August...
We got to see the Grand Canyon and it was indeed grand. As I sat on a bench at a view area just shy of the north rim visitor's center I kept wondering what it must have been like to come upon such a sight, when the canyon was as yet undiscovered by the masses, without any warning---to be riding along a flat mesa and then suddenly see the ground fall away to reveal something so beautiful and so scary. I admit to feeling very unsettled ( a gentle word to describe gut- churning fear) when close to drop-offs...just ask my kids how many times I told them to not get too close to the edge. (Ten yards is approaching too close)
The Grand Canyon got me thinking about how hard it is to absorb really breathtaking sights. I think the problem lies in the fact that by merely looking at something we just scratch the surface. To really appreciate the Grand Canyon I would need to stay there and learn more about its history and explore it more thoroughly. I would need to touch more of its surfaces and look at it from the bottom of the canyon and wind my way through it on the river.
I think when we try to take in the beauty of something or someone we touch on an awareness of how short our time is here compared to how long is our existence and you combine that with a spirit-deep desire to do more than scratch the surface and you get part of the source of human frustration..we seem to spend so much time in this mortal moment realizing we have only begun to scratch the surface of living and understanding...
---The Grand Canyon wasn't as grand as being reunited with our daughter after she had been working out of state for the summer. It was the longest time she had been far from the nest and she got a taste of flying on her own. I think she found it both exhilarating and scary. It all added up to growing.
---I got to see the area close to where my piece of inherited property is---yes I am a landowner. The property could be developed maybe in another fifty to a hundred years or so --but right now I am the proud owner of a piece of desert sprinkled with a few Joshua trees. My parcel of land sits within a 'development' that never really developed. There were lots of dirt roads with names on signs---kind of like some one had zoned a mirage--either some one's dream or perhaps some one's hungry dream of getting rich that fed on the dreams of many people. But it is mine and perhaps it will be the location of a dream home for some of my posterity---it could happen.
---Speaking of dreams---we got to travel a section of route 66 getting our kicks listening to Simon and Garfunkel's greatest hits and even singing along as we drove down a sadly lack-luster memory lane even more memorable to our parents' generation. Our youngest daughter was pretty much disgusted by the music and just didn't understand the big deal about a long highway littered with tacky tourist traps. How many young hopers and dreamers had gone down that road? So much windblown hair and so many tunes on the radio...tire track upon tire track embedded in the asphalt...
---Summer turned to fall. I do find joy and beauty in every season but I am partial to fall. I love the cool crisp feel of the air with its earthy smell and the deep gold of the sunshine. I love the first time I put on a sweater and relish its warmth. We didn't have to buy pumpkins for Halloween. We used the three small ones that we grew. I froze some beets, used up the carrots, and froze several bags of tomatoes (which I just used last week to make some spaghetti sauce) We had a very small harvest and I am sure many grand gardeners would have smiled if not laughed at the satisfaction I felt over such feeble results. It did feel good to clear the ground and turn the soil--preparing for new growth.
---Our youngest daughter decided to have a party at the park for her birthday. She had a good time and her dad and I had a good time rubbing shoulders with youth at its fresh-faced exuberant best as we chaperoned. Her big sister helped out and hung out quite content and confident in her role of 'the big sister who goes to college'. Our youngest daughter likes to do things a bit differently than the norm so she had smores instead of cake and ice-cream and she even had a random uninvited guest show up in the form of a young pre-teen boy who had been at the park for football practice and apparently had not been ready to go home. He sat and watched while I put out food and put up decorations and looked like he had no intention of leaving. I was going to shoo him away but decided to chat with him. I was thankful that my sweet husband chatted with him even more and he accepted a can of pop and some snacks and even joined in with some of the games for a while before hopping on his bike and telling us goodbye. Our daughter thought it was great to have such an interesting addition to her festivities and I found myself feeling grateful that we had crossed paths with this friendly stranger for a short time on a Saturday evening in the park.
---I had the intimidating opportunity of filling out a job resume---my first in over a quarter of a century--and I felt like I was back in college trying to stretch out an answer to an essay question---trying to make it sound good. I didn't get the job but it was good practice. I have actually decided to serve a six-month service mission for my church--it will ease me back into a working environment.
---Christmas brought welcome traditions and a softened heart. I tried to not lose the gift of the Christmas spirit in all of the worldly wrappings. I tried to remember that mortal gifts are just tokens of thoughts and feelings---and that I don't have to give everyone the fondest desire of their heart on one occasion---you see every year I am prone to anxiety at Christmas---making lists, shopping, baking---wanting the perfect holiday---I run myself ragged over the wrappings and trappings and I end up almost too tired to enjoy and cherish the gift that is Christmas--the celebration of the birth of our Savior Jesus Christ---Wonderful, Counsellor, The mighty God, The everlasting father, The Prince of Peace--born in very humble circumstances with lowly beasts, shepherds, wisemen, and angels attending...that kind of says it all of how we should celebrate---in humble gratitude and joyfulness of heart---loving and cherishing and marvelling and singing. I have managed to control my anxiety a bit more each year. I love spending time with family---warming myself in the glow of the home fires that burn so brightly at Christmas.
---My husband and I got to ring in the new year this year dancing the night away...I ignored my hurting hip-- it is so sad that a hurting hip is now part of my tale of dancing---come on I didn't do that much dancing--and the fact that I am not a real good dancer--and just had fun. Dancing is definitely one of the best ways to refresh romance in a marriage and make you feel young and full of possibilities again. There was a couple at the dance celebrating their 65th wedding anniversary---still married and still dancing after more years than I have been alive---incredible.
---January is not one of my favorite months. The best things I can say about it are that it is the month our son was born, it is a month that is a view area where we can look ahead at the coming year with hope and it is a month I read a lot of books...You see after Christmas I kind of hibernate. I eat a lot of sugar---Christmas treats made me fall off of the wagon I was precariously sitting on---watch too much television (netflix is our friend)---bemoan the fact I am getting so fat(in this way it would be nice to be a bear because they purposely eat a lot and pack on the fat --of course then they don't eat all winter--maybe I could pack on the fat over Halloween and Thanksgiving and then not eat for December---or not--it wouldn't be healthy and I would miss out on egg nog and fudge)---contemplate exercising and take a lot of naps. At least January got off to a good start because we had our granddaughter over to spend the night for a late-birthday celebration. She is extremely precocious and has a wonderful imagination. I love playing with her---tea parties, hide and seek, fairies---we go on such nice adventures that tie my heart even more strongly to hers and make her special place in my heart grow wider and deeper. I look forward to more one on one time with her brother. It was so fun at her cake and ice-cream party to watch her and her little brother-- my adorable huggable grandson run around with wild abandon relishing the attention of family---truly living in the moment as only children can do so successfully and joyously.
---January is a month I want to escape--run away--hence so many books read. Proof of this came yesterday when I found myself sniffing a can of just opened tuna fish and thinking of a vacation by the ocean...kind of pathetic but a cheap vacation.
Canyons, highways, parcels of desert, harvests, celebrations, new paths---I have only scratched the surface but I have found treasures beneath...
Now I need to go face my next adventure---training for my service mission.
Take care
A (somewhat ) quick summary of impressions of life since August...
We got to see the Grand Canyon and it was indeed grand. As I sat on a bench at a view area just shy of the north rim visitor's center I kept wondering what it must have been like to come upon such a sight, when the canyon was as yet undiscovered by the masses, without any warning---to be riding along a flat mesa and then suddenly see the ground fall away to reveal something so beautiful and so scary. I admit to feeling very unsettled ( a gentle word to describe gut- churning fear) when close to drop-offs...just ask my kids how many times I told them to not get too close to the edge. (Ten yards is approaching too close)
The Grand Canyon got me thinking about how hard it is to absorb really breathtaking sights. I think the problem lies in the fact that by merely looking at something we just scratch the surface. To really appreciate the Grand Canyon I would need to stay there and learn more about its history and explore it more thoroughly. I would need to touch more of its surfaces and look at it from the bottom of the canyon and wind my way through it on the river.
I think when we try to take in the beauty of something or someone we touch on an awareness of how short our time is here compared to how long is our existence and you combine that with a spirit-deep desire to do more than scratch the surface and you get part of the source of human frustration..we seem to spend so much time in this mortal moment realizing we have only begun to scratch the surface of living and understanding...
---The Grand Canyon wasn't as grand as being reunited with our daughter after she had been working out of state for the summer. It was the longest time she had been far from the nest and she got a taste of flying on her own. I think she found it both exhilarating and scary. It all added up to growing.
---I got to see the area close to where my piece of inherited property is---yes I am a landowner. The property could be developed maybe in another fifty to a hundred years or so --but right now I am the proud owner of a piece of desert sprinkled with a few Joshua trees. My parcel of land sits within a 'development' that never really developed. There were lots of dirt roads with names on signs---kind of like some one had zoned a mirage--either some one's dream or perhaps some one's hungry dream of getting rich that fed on the dreams of many people. But it is mine and perhaps it will be the location of a dream home for some of my posterity---it could happen.
---Speaking of dreams---we got to travel a section of route 66 getting our kicks listening to Simon and Garfunkel's greatest hits and even singing along as we drove down a sadly lack-luster memory lane even more memorable to our parents' generation. Our youngest daughter was pretty much disgusted by the music and just didn't understand the big deal about a long highway littered with tacky tourist traps. How many young hopers and dreamers had gone down that road? So much windblown hair and so many tunes on the radio...tire track upon tire track embedded in the asphalt...
---Summer turned to fall. I do find joy and beauty in every season but I am partial to fall. I love the cool crisp feel of the air with its earthy smell and the deep gold of the sunshine. I love the first time I put on a sweater and relish its warmth. We didn't have to buy pumpkins for Halloween. We used the three small ones that we grew. I froze some beets, used up the carrots, and froze several bags of tomatoes (which I just used last week to make some spaghetti sauce) We had a very small harvest and I am sure many grand gardeners would have smiled if not laughed at the satisfaction I felt over such feeble results. It did feel good to clear the ground and turn the soil--preparing for new growth.
---Our youngest daughter decided to have a party at the park for her birthday. She had a good time and her dad and I had a good time rubbing shoulders with youth at its fresh-faced exuberant best as we chaperoned. Her big sister helped out and hung out quite content and confident in her role of 'the big sister who goes to college'. Our youngest daughter likes to do things a bit differently than the norm so she had smores instead of cake and ice-cream and she even had a random uninvited guest show up in the form of a young pre-teen boy who had been at the park for football practice and apparently had not been ready to go home. He sat and watched while I put out food and put up decorations and looked like he had no intention of leaving. I was going to shoo him away but decided to chat with him. I was thankful that my sweet husband chatted with him even more and he accepted a can of pop and some snacks and even joined in with some of the games for a while before hopping on his bike and telling us goodbye. Our daughter thought it was great to have such an interesting addition to her festivities and I found myself feeling grateful that we had crossed paths with this friendly stranger for a short time on a Saturday evening in the park.
---I had the intimidating opportunity of filling out a job resume---my first in over a quarter of a century--and I felt like I was back in college trying to stretch out an answer to an essay question---trying to make it sound good. I didn't get the job but it was good practice. I have actually decided to serve a six-month service mission for my church--it will ease me back into a working environment.
---Christmas brought welcome traditions and a softened heart. I tried to not lose the gift of the Christmas spirit in all of the worldly wrappings. I tried to remember that mortal gifts are just tokens of thoughts and feelings---and that I don't have to give everyone the fondest desire of their heart on one occasion---you see every year I am prone to anxiety at Christmas---making lists, shopping, baking---wanting the perfect holiday---I run myself ragged over the wrappings and trappings and I end up almost too tired to enjoy and cherish the gift that is Christmas--the celebration of the birth of our Savior Jesus Christ---Wonderful, Counsellor, The mighty God, The everlasting father, The Prince of Peace--born in very humble circumstances with lowly beasts, shepherds, wisemen, and angels attending...that kind of says it all of how we should celebrate---in humble gratitude and joyfulness of heart---loving and cherishing and marvelling and singing. I have managed to control my anxiety a bit more each year. I love spending time with family---warming myself in the glow of the home fires that burn so brightly at Christmas.
---My husband and I got to ring in the new year this year dancing the night away...I ignored my hurting hip-- it is so sad that a hurting hip is now part of my tale of dancing---come on I didn't do that much dancing--and the fact that I am not a real good dancer--and just had fun. Dancing is definitely one of the best ways to refresh romance in a marriage and make you feel young and full of possibilities again. There was a couple at the dance celebrating their 65th wedding anniversary---still married and still dancing after more years than I have been alive---incredible.
---January is not one of my favorite months. The best things I can say about it are that it is the month our son was born, it is a month that is a view area where we can look ahead at the coming year with hope and it is a month I read a lot of books...You see after Christmas I kind of hibernate. I eat a lot of sugar---Christmas treats made me fall off of the wagon I was precariously sitting on---watch too much television (netflix is our friend)---bemoan the fact I am getting so fat(in this way it would be nice to be a bear because they purposely eat a lot and pack on the fat --of course then they don't eat all winter--maybe I could pack on the fat over Halloween and Thanksgiving and then not eat for December---or not--it wouldn't be healthy and I would miss out on egg nog and fudge)---contemplate exercising and take a lot of naps. At least January got off to a good start because we had our granddaughter over to spend the night for a late-birthday celebration. She is extremely precocious and has a wonderful imagination. I love playing with her---tea parties, hide and seek, fairies---we go on such nice adventures that tie my heart even more strongly to hers and make her special place in my heart grow wider and deeper. I look forward to more one on one time with her brother. It was so fun at her cake and ice-cream party to watch her and her little brother-- my adorable huggable grandson run around with wild abandon relishing the attention of family---truly living in the moment as only children can do so successfully and joyously.
---January is a month I want to escape--run away--hence so many books read. Proof of this came yesterday when I found myself sniffing a can of just opened tuna fish and thinking of a vacation by the ocean...kind of pathetic but a cheap vacation.
Canyons, highways, parcels of desert, harvests, celebrations, new paths---I have only scratched the surface but I have found treasures beneath...
Now I need to go face my next adventure---training for my service mission.
Take care
Wednesday, August 4, 2010
Thankful for the Seasons
I am enjoying this summer and I think that is because of spending more time outside. Yes, I still spend quite a bit of each day inside of my air-conditioned house but it seems that gardening has gotten me outside more this summer than past summers. I have also been enjoying going for evening walks with my daughter and our dogs. Sometimes I get too cold in the house so I go outside on our deck and soak up some sun. It feels good to feel the hot deck under my feet and the sun toasting my arms and face---for a few minutes. Summer certainly gives me a better appreciation for cool breezes and cold water.
One nice thing about the heat of summer is that inspires us to give ourselves permission to be a little more laid back than usual. I sit down more frequently--on the deck--on the porch. I stay up late sometimes just because I can or I take a little nap during the drowsy heat of the day. I like to work outside in the mornings and even inside and then take things slow and easy until it cools down again. As long as there are refreshing showers close at hand it actually feels really good to sweat. Summer makes us more aware of expending energy and more aware of how good it feels to rest...It is lovely to get up with the sun (which can be hard after those late nights) and exercise or garden or clean house and then look forward to the long day unfolding and revealing its simple sunny pleasures under blue skies---ending the day with contented sighs mingled with the chirping of crickets to serenade us as we stroll beneath a canopy of stars. Yes, we need to be outside and see and hear and smell and touch the earth---and taste of its fruits--it gives us a feeling of wellness and completeness.
It looks like it is getting ready to storm. I have been looking out my window as I type and watching the clouds gather and the trees blow in the wind. I think as an inlander I find as much pleasure in watching the movement of the trees and listening to their leaves move in the breeze as anyone who lives on the coast finds in watching and listening to the ocean.
I just heard some rumblings of thunder. Rainstorms are great in the summer too. I better not get started on how much I love a summer storm...
Happy Summer!
One nice thing about the heat of summer is that inspires us to give ourselves permission to be a little more laid back than usual. I sit down more frequently--on the deck--on the porch. I stay up late sometimes just because I can or I take a little nap during the drowsy heat of the day. I like to work outside in the mornings and even inside and then take things slow and easy until it cools down again. As long as there are refreshing showers close at hand it actually feels really good to sweat. Summer makes us more aware of expending energy and more aware of how good it feels to rest...It is lovely to get up with the sun (which can be hard after those late nights) and exercise or garden or clean house and then look forward to the long day unfolding and revealing its simple sunny pleasures under blue skies---ending the day with contented sighs mingled with the chirping of crickets to serenade us as we stroll beneath a canopy of stars. Yes, we need to be outside and see and hear and smell and touch the earth---and taste of its fruits--it gives us a feeling of wellness and completeness.
It looks like it is getting ready to storm. I have been looking out my window as I type and watching the clouds gather and the trees blow in the wind. I think as an inlander I find as much pleasure in watching the movement of the trees and listening to their leaves move in the breeze as anyone who lives on the coast finds in watching and listening to the ocean.
I just heard some rumblings of thunder. Rainstorms are great in the summer too. I better not get started on how much I love a summer storm...
Happy Summer!
Thursday, July 22, 2010
What's In Your Shopping Cart?
Most recent garden lesson---as I was pinching off dead blooms from my flowering basket I was thinking that since the reason for doing that is to basically redirect the strength of the plant to producing new blooms then it would be good if we could do that with our thoughts---then I thought--we can , we do, we should! I too often will put my energy into negative thoughts that bear no good fruit and bring my life no beauty. I need to quickly pinch off those dead (end) thoughts and redirect my energy into good thoughts that will grow into good actions..then I will have more blossoming going on and more beauty in my life.
Yesterday I finally went 'big' grocery shopping which means that I make a list, gather coupons, replace storage items, and stock up on a few things. This means that it takes a lot of time and a chunk of cash. This is why I tend to put it off. Anyway, shopping went pretty well but I seemed to frequently run into (not literally thank heavens) the same woman while I was shopping and she ended up being in line just ahead of me. I like to make eye contact with people while I am shopping and see if I can get people to return my smile. I frequently do and that is very pleasant but this particular woman didn't seem to want to make eye contact--at least not long enough to see me smile at her. She did however look at the contents of my shopping cart a couple of times and for some reason that bothered me. Who knows, perhaps that woman is right at this very moment writing her blog about an annoying woman who kept looking at her in the grocery store and I probably should ponder what quirk it is in myself that causes me to be bugged when someone looks at what I have in my shopping cart but I think I would rather explore the possible reasons people have for looking in other people's shopping carts.
As I mentioned, when I go 'big' grocery shopping I replace storage items and stock up and try to get enough basics to last a couple of weeks so my shopping cart gets pretty full. I also have a tendency to worry about not having enough so I do often buy more than what we need. There have been several occasions when people have stared at my packed grocery cart as I struggle to push it around a corner and I have felt a little gluttonous but how do they know I'm not buying for a care center or something---or maybe I have eight kids---Of course I shop at my neighborhood grocery store so I almost always run into friends and neighbors and they normally don't look at the items in my cart. (Although if it is a friend who knows I am trying to eat healthy I do feel a bit guilty if I have more cookies and candy than I do carrots and yogurt in my cart) So why would we check out what other people are buying?
Maybe someone has an item in their cart that we were looking for but couldn't find. Maybe they have something in their cart that looks good---like something we would like to have for dinner or dessert or a snack. Maybe they have a lot of something in their cart that would indicate a sale that we would like to take advantage of---Perhaps it would lead to more efficient shopping if we occasionally looked at the items in other people's shopping carts. For instance, if someone has really white teeth maybe we should look to see what kind of toothpaste is in their cart. If we know someone as being a person who demands good quality maybe we should see what kind of toilet paper they're buying. If we see someone with lustrous hair then we should see what shampoo they're buying or if someone we know is well off financially maybe we could take a peek and see if they buy name brand or store brand.
I shouldn't be bugged by the woman looking in my cart. Maybe seeing what people buy could become an interesting and even productive habit. They say you can tell a lot about someone by what is in their trash--so I'm sure you can tell a lot about someone by what is in their shopping cart. Maybe the lady was just looking to see if she could see what could contribute to or explain my habit of smiling so much at strangers...
Yesterday I finally went 'big' grocery shopping which means that I make a list, gather coupons, replace storage items, and stock up on a few things. This means that it takes a lot of time and a chunk of cash. This is why I tend to put it off. Anyway, shopping went pretty well but I seemed to frequently run into (not literally thank heavens) the same woman while I was shopping and she ended up being in line just ahead of me. I like to make eye contact with people while I am shopping and see if I can get people to return my smile. I frequently do and that is very pleasant but this particular woman didn't seem to want to make eye contact--at least not long enough to see me smile at her. She did however look at the contents of my shopping cart a couple of times and for some reason that bothered me. Who knows, perhaps that woman is right at this very moment writing her blog about an annoying woman who kept looking at her in the grocery store and I probably should ponder what quirk it is in myself that causes me to be bugged when someone looks at what I have in my shopping cart but I think I would rather explore the possible reasons people have for looking in other people's shopping carts.
As I mentioned, when I go 'big' grocery shopping I replace storage items and stock up and try to get enough basics to last a couple of weeks so my shopping cart gets pretty full. I also have a tendency to worry about not having enough so I do often buy more than what we need. There have been several occasions when people have stared at my packed grocery cart as I struggle to push it around a corner and I have felt a little gluttonous but how do they know I'm not buying for a care center or something---or maybe I have eight kids---Of course I shop at my neighborhood grocery store so I almost always run into friends and neighbors and they normally don't look at the items in my cart. (Although if it is a friend who knows I am trying to eat healthy I do feel a bit guilty if I have more cookies and candy than I do carrots and yogurt in my cart) So why would we check out what other people are buying?
Maybe someone has an item in their cart that we were looking for but couldn't find. Maybe they have something in their cart that looks good---like something we would like to have for dinner or dessert or a snack. Maybe they have a lot of something in their cart that would indicate a sale that we would like to take advantage of---Perhaps it would lead to more efficient shopping if we occasionally looked at the items in other people's shopping carts. For instance, if someone has really white teeth maybe we should look to see what kind of toothpaste is in their cart. If we know someone as being a person who demands good quality maybe we should see what kind of toilet paper they're buying. If we see someone with lustrous hair then we should see what shampoo they're buying or if someone we know is well off financially maybe we could take a peek and see if they buy name brand or store brand.
I shouldn't be bugged by the woman looking in my cart. Maybe seeing what people buy could become an interesting and even productive habit. They say you can tell a lot about someone by what is in their trash--so I'm sure you can tell a lot about someone by what is in their shopping cart. Maybe the lady was just looking to see if she could see what could contribute to or explain my habit of smiling so much at strangers...
Tuesday, July 20, 2010
Fear---of Falling---of Failing
Wow it's been 2 weeks since I have written anything. I wonder if anyone has noticed???
Anyway...I have had a lot of thoughts darting around my mind looking for a spot to land to I will try and land them here and now.
First of all I forgot to mention in my last blog, which was itself a mishmash of thoughts, that I purchased some pinwheels to put on my garden fence. It adds a touch of whimsy that makes my heart smile. They are different colors and metallic so they catch the rays of the sun as well as the breeze. Something in me feels a kinship with things that are whimsical--perhaps because they have to do with the imagination--I looked up whimsy in the dictionary and wasn't really satisfied with the definition--but it is one of those words that the definition is more felt than read...
I have been thinking about fine lines lately, not the kind that women my age try to minimize or conceal (I do confess to thinking about those though---if only we women could think of them as fine as in really nice) but the kind that people speak of walking---balancing on a border between two things that are either opposite or very close in nature--one of which is desirable and the other is not. For example I have heard it said that there is a fine line between madness and genius or a fine line between conceit and confidence. I was thinking specifically of the fine line between helping our children overcome fears and traumatizing them. The other day in a public restroom I overheard a little boy who started fussing upon entering the restroom about his not wanting to dry his hands with the air blowers. It soon became apparent that he was very fearful of the loud noise the blowers make. He fretted the whole time he and his mother were in the restroom. His mother kept reassuring him that she had wipes that he could use to wash his hands so he would not have to use the air blower. She kept telling him he would be fine. I couldn't help but give a knowing smile because of the many memories I had of dealing with my own children's fears.
Sometimes as parents we downplay our children's fears--we sometimes even chide them or laugh. Why? We all have fears, some rational some not. When I was young we lived in a city where houses were built on hills and very often we would go for drives. I remember at least once when we were going down a steep hill and I couldn't see beyond the top of the hill that I was terrified that we were going to drive off the edge of the hillside and fall to our deaths. It sounds like an odd fear but it was very real and terrifying to me. I should have known that my dad wouldn't drive us off the edge of a cliff but fear tramples trust just as easily and completely as it crumples common sense. I think as parents our responsibility to instruct and discipline weighs so heavily on us that it can throw us off balance and we forget about our responsibility to nurture and love. Of course the scales can lean too far in the opposite direction sometimes too. The mother in the restroom could have forced her son to dry his hands under the noisy air blower in order to help him overcome his fear but in doing so she could have run the risk of making him forever afraid of air blowing hand dryers. That mother was wise and probably knew that giving her son some time to mature would take care of things so she just told him there was nothing to be afraid of but didn't push him. As parents we often walk fine lines. We don't want to push fears too deep while trying to help our children overcome them. It's kind of like getting a sliver out. Maybe sometimes what we perceive to be fine lines are really not that fine at all if we keep things in balance...
We went to a local amusement park last Saturday as part of my husband's company summer party. It had been over ten years since I had been there. I had intended to ride a few tame rides with my husband and maybe sip a cold drink while people-watching while our daughter and her friend went on the more exciting and popular rides. But something happened as I walked up to the ticket windows...I caught a glimpse of a new ride and I thought it looked like fun---the next thing I knew we were all waiting in line for that ride. I rationalized that rides don't last very long so I felt confidant that I could just hold on tight and close my eyes if necessary and survive a few terrifying minutes. The ride was crazy. It involved going up and down and sideways like a roller coaster but the individual cars would spin around at the same time so when you reached the top of a hill you would spin and it would look like you were flying off of the track (I've come a long way from being afraid of driving down steep hills). It made me feel a bit like a toy in a dog's mouth being shaken around but it was kind of fun and we moved on to the next adventure which happened to be a ride that involved going straight up a high hill (are they called hills on roller coasters---seems there should be a better word) and then straight down and on to sharp twists and turns that involved going upside down. You didn't climb the hill on this ride---you were shot up it out of a very brief tunnel. When we were waiting in line I kept looking for people who looked my age or older to reassure me somehow. I didn't really find any--well maybe just one or two. I did get a little worried about the signs on all of the rides we went on that said that pregnant women and elderly persons should not ride. Thankfully I didn't have to worry about the pregnant part (that would be much scarier at this point in my life than any extreme ride) but am I considered elderly? My kids sometimes say I'm old--I am really middle-aged--although I am precise when it comes to numbers and I can only really be middle aged if I live to be over 100--it could happen! You're only as old as you feel and when I felt the desire for fun kind of bubble up inside of me when I reached the ticket window I felt pretty darn young. Anyway we ended up being in the very front car for the ride which meant we got the best view of hurtling to the ground. After being properly restrained we waited while there seemed to be some sort of problem with the ride. That is always consoling in these kinds of situations. There I sat trapped in my seat while the ride operator looked at the computer console with a troubled look on his face and spoke to someone on a phone! The operators of the rides frequently look young enough that their parents still have a hard time trusting them with the family car but there I was--a potentially elderly person putting my life in their hands. I kept looking at the operator trying to tell him with my eyes (I think I might have told him with my mouth too) that if he had any doubts at all about the safety of ride then please do not send us on... Well we went and things were okay---crazy and wild--but okay. I kept my eyes open most of time and the ride even reached my laughing place. When I got off I felt almost giddy at having survived and I felt a little cooler and a little younger than when I got on. Much to my surprise I admitted that I wouldn't mind riding that ride again.
While waiting in line and almost melting in the sun I couldn't help but wonder about what human beings come up with for entertainment. We get on contraptions that spin and throw and bounce us around, that make our most recent meal soar up to our throats and our hearts thump wildly, and we call it fun and even pay money. My husband is a very good sport and rode all of the rides I did except one. As long as I could hear him laughing in the face of death I knew I was okay. We had a fun time and I was an interesting mixture of exhausted and enlivened. Our teenage daughter and her friend were tired but the difference between teenage tired and middle age tired is teenage tired goes away in a couple of hours but middle age tired settles in and stays for a couple of days.
The morning of our adventure ---several hours before my brief moments of rather tame daring---a young scout from Wisconsin died trying to jump the gap between two arches in Moab. That event has kind of haunted me. I experienced the sensation of falling when I rode the amusement park rides but I was strapped in and my chances of survival extremely good. I have had nightmares about falling off of high places and a part of me shudders as I imagine what it must be like to fall to your death. I looked at a picture of someone jumping the same gap and I could see how something like that could have tempted a young man of 18. It was only a 6 foot gap, other people had done it and survived. We all get dangerous impulses. We all make rash decisions. There have been times when I have done something stupid and immediately realized how dire the consequences of my actions could have been. Things like this are what scout leaders pray won't happen on their watch. Things like this are what parents don't want to think about when they send their children off on outings. My heart goes out to the young man's family and to those who were with him when he fell. It seems extra tragic that he made the jump but then lost his balance--at that moment did he realize he was taking his last breaths. Giving in to an impulse quickly ended a promising young life. It is so important most of the time to stop and think. I feel so sorry for all of the people--many of them young people--who end up being heart-wrenching examples of what can happen when you don't.
I think the expression that someone has fallen ill is interesting. It makes it sound like the person was walking along living life when they fell into a pot hole of bad health. Just yesterday someone I hardly knew passed away. It made me very sad. Doctors had found a brain tumor in January but they were observing it and last I heard it hadn't grown. She was Stake Young Women's leader in our stake. My daughter had just seen her at girl's camp last weekend and my daughter and I had recently agreed on what a neat lady she was. Then on Sunday we heard she was on life support and prayers were requested in her behalf. I don't know all of the details. It just seemed to happen so fast. People leave a space when they die--- a space that can be so hard to understand and accept.
I was talking this morning with a friend who cuts my hair and she said she is enjoying this summer because she is taking time to enjoy the warmth of the sun, taking time to watch the sun set. I have been complaining about the heat and looking forward to autumn. It seems we are always looking forward to something but then we complain about the way time goes by so quickly. I think we would do well to enjoy the moment--the season of the year--the season of our life.
Hopefully my thoughts have landed not too awkwardly. I think I will go out and watch the wind blow my pinwheels...
Anyway...I have had a lot of thoughts darting around my mind looking for a spot to land to I will try and land them here and now.
First of all I forgot to mention in my last blog, which was itself a mishmash of thoughts, that I purchased some pinwheels to put on my garden fence. It adds a touch of whimsy that makes my heart smile. They are different colors and metallic so they catch the rays of the sun as well as the breeze. Something in me feels a kinship with things that are whimsical--perhaps because they have to do with the imagination--I looked up whimsy in the dictionary and wasn't really satisfied with the definition--but it is one of those words that the definition is more felt than read...
I have been thinking about fine lines lately, not the kind that women my age try to minimize or conceal (I do confess to thinking about those though---if only we women could think of them as fine as in really nice) but the kind that people speak of walking---balancing on a border between two things that are either opposite or very close in nature--one of which is desirable and the other is not. For example I have heard it said that there is a fine line between madness and genius or a fine line between conceit and confidence. I was thinking specifically of the fine line between helping our children overcome fears and traumatizing them. The other day in a public restroom I overheard a little boy who started fussing upon entering the restroom about his not wanting to dry his hands with the air blowers. It soon became apparent that he was very fearful of the loud noise the blowers make. He fretted the whole time he and his mother were in the restroom. His mother kept reassuring him that she had wipes that he could use to wash his hands so he would not have to use the air blower. She kept telling him he would be fine. I couldn't help but give a knowing smile because of the many memories I had of dealing with my own children's fears.
Sometimes as parents we downplay our children's fears--we sometimes even chide them or laugh. Why? We all have fears, some rational some not. When I was young we lived in a city where houses were built on hills and very often we would go for drives. I remember at least once when we were going down a steep hill and I couldn't see beyond the top of the hill that I was terrified that we were going to drive off the edge of the hillside and fall to our deaths. It sounds like an odd fear but it was very real and terrifying to me. I should have known that my dad wouldn't drive us off the edge of a cliff but fear tramples trust just as easily and completely as it crumples common sense. I think as parents our responsibility to instruct and discipline weighs so heavily on us that it can throw us off balance and we forget about our responsibility to nurture and love. Of course the scales can lean too far in the opposite direction sometimes too. The mother in the restroom could have forced her son to dry his hands under the noisy air blower in order to help him overcome his fear but in doing so she could have run the risk of making him forever afraid of air blowing hand dryers. That mother was wise and probably knew that giving her son some time to mature would take care of things so she just told him there was nothing to be afraid of but didn't push him. As parents we often walk fine lines. We don't want to push fears too deep while trying to help our children overcome them. It's kind of like getting a sliver out. Maybe sometimes what we perceive to be fine lines are really not that fine at all if we keep things in balance...
We went to a local amusement park last Saturday as part of my husband's company summer party. It had been over ten years since I had been there. I had intended to ride a few tame rides with my husband and maybe sip a cold drink while people-watching while our daughter and her friend went on the more exciting and popular rides. But something happened as I walked up to the ticket windows...I caught a glimpse of a new ride and I thought it looked like fun---the next thing I knew we were all waiting in line for that ride. I rationalized that rides don't last very long so I felt confidant that I could just hold on tight and close my eyes if necessary and survive a few terrifying minutes. The ride was crazy. It involved going up and down and sideways like a roller coaster but the individual cars would spin around at the same time so when you reached the top of a hill you would spin and it would look like you were flying off of the track (I've come a long way from being afraid of driving down steep hills). It made me feel a bit like a toy in a dog's mouth being shaken around but it was kind of fun and we moved on to the next adventure which happened to be a ride that involved going straight up a high hill (are they called hills on roller coasters---seems there should be a better word) and then straight down and on to sharp twists and turns that involved going upside down. You didn't climb the hill on this ride---you were shot up it out of a very brief tunnel. When we were waiting in line I kept looking for people who looked my age or older to reassure me somehow. I didn't really find any--well maybe just one or two. I did get a little worried about the signs on all of the rides we went on that said that pregnant women and elderly persons should not ride. Thankfully I didn't have to worry about the pregnant part (that would be much scarier at this point in my life than any extreme ride) but am I considered elderly? My kids sometimes say I'm old--I am really middle-aged--although I am precise when it comes to numbers and I can only really be middle aged if I live to be over 100--it could happen! You're only as old as you feel and when I felt the desire for fun kind of bubble up inside of me when I reached the ticket window I felt pretty darn young. Anyway we ended up being in the very front car for the ride which meant we got the best view of hurtling to the ground. After being properly restrained we waited while there seemed to be some sort of problem with the ride. That is always consoling in these kinds of situations. There I sat trapped in my seat while the ride operator looked at the computer console with a troubled look on his face and spoke to someone on a phone! The operators of the rides frequently look young enough that their parents still have a hard time trusting them with the family car but there I was--a potentially elderly person putting my life in their hands. I kept looking at the operator trying to tell him with my eyes (I think I might have told him with my mouth too) that if he had any doubts at all about the safety of ride then please do not send us on... Well we went and things were okay---crazy and wild--but okay. I kept my eyes open most of time and the ride even reached my laughing place. When I got off I felt almost giddy at having survived and I felt a little cooler and a little younger than when I got on. Much to my surprise I admitted that I wouldn't mind riding that ride again.
While waiting in line and almost melting in the sun I couldn't help but wonder about what human beings come up with for entertainment. We get on contraptions that spin and throw and bounce us around, that make our most recent meal soar up to our throats and our hearts thump wildly, and we call it fun and even pay money. My husband is a very good sport and rode all of the rides I did except one. As long as I could hear him laughing in the face of death I knew I was okay. We had a fun time and I was an interesting mixture of exhausted and enlivened. Our teenage daughter and her friend were tired but the difference between teenage tired and middle age tired is teenage tired goes away in a couple of hours but middle age tired settles in and stays for a couple of days.
The morning of our adventure ---several hours before my brief moments of rather tame daring---a young scout from Wisconsin died trying to jump the gap between two arches in Moab. That event has kind of haunted me. I experienced the sensation of falling when I rode the amusement park rides but I was strapped in and my chances of survival extremely good. I have had nightmares about falling off of high places and a part of me shudders as I imagine what it must be like to fall to your death. I looked at a picture of someone jumping the same gap and I could see how something like that could have tempted a young man of 18. It was only a 6 foot gap, other people had done it and survived. We all get dangerous impulses. We all make rash decisions. There have been times when I have done something stupid and immediately realized how dire the consequences of my actions could have been. Things like this are what scout leaders pray won't happen on their watch. Things like this are what parents don't want to think about when they send their children off on outings. My heart goes out to the young man's family and to those who were with him when he fell. It seems extra tragic that he made the jump but then lost his balance--at that moment did he realize he was taking his last breaths. Giving in to an impulse quickly ended a promising young life. It is so important most of the time to stop and think. I feel so sorry for all of the people--many of them young people--who end up being heart-wrenching examples of what can happen when you don't.
I think the expression that someone has fallen ill is interesting. It makes it sound like the person was walking along living life when they fell into a pot hole of bad health. Just yesterday someone I hardly knew passed away. It made me very sad. Doctors had found a brain tumor in January but they were observing it and last I heard it hadn't grown. She was Stake Young Women's leader in our stake. My daughter had just seen her at girl's camp last weekend and my daughter and I had recently agreed on what a neat lady she was. Then on Sunday we heard she was on life support and prayers were requested in her behalf. I don't know all of the details. It just seemed to happen so fast. People leave a space when they die--- a space that can be so hard to understand and accept.
I was talking this morning with a friend who cuts my hair and she said she is enjoying this summer because she is taking time to enjoy the warmth of the sun, taking time to watch the sun set. I have been complaining about the heat and looking forward to autumn. It seems we are always looking forward to something but then we complain about the way time goes by so quickly. I think we would do well to enjoy the moment--the season of the year--the season of our life.
Hopefully my thoughts have landed not too awkwardly. I think I will go out and watch the wind blow my pinwheels...
Wednesday, July 7, 2010
S-more Food For Thought
This and That---
I got a piece of bead board to block off our living room from our dogs---to keep them from rushing the door when the doorbell rings and from furring the furniture when they lounge on it. So now we have scraped off paint from replacing the board and little digs in the paint and the wall from the board falling down. Now when someone comes to the door I just have to hurry and talk with them before the dogs knock down the board. Oh well, at least the board gives me a fighting chance to make it to the door before the dogs---the furniture is relatively free of dog hair and my window sheers are not getting snagged anymore--With dogs there are a lot of compromises made--- mostly on the part of the owner.
As part of our 4th of July barbecue I picked up some giant marshmallows. They are about 3 times the size of regular marshmallows and really fluffy. They called to me in the store. One marshmallow makes 2 very gooey smores (it could actually make 4). It has 90 calories and no fat---no nutritional value to speak of but a reasonable indulgence---until you put it with graham crackers and a chocolate bar of course. They already make giant chocolate bars so now all we need is giant graham crackers and we could have a major dietary splurge. Actually they need to come out with micro mini marshmallows and bite size graham cracker squares then I could put one teeny marshmallow and one chocolate chip in between two wee graham crackers and have a doll size smore that just maybe my middle age metabolism could burn off before it joined the fat convention around my middle.
Well my daughter and I are off to IKEA the store purposely designed like a maze so that you will find things to buy in order to take your mind off of your fear of never finding your way out. At least it is good exercise. Maybe I can walk off those giant marshmallows.
One more thought about gardens---I have been pulling up some pesky unidentified weedy looking plants that have been growing like crazy in one of my flower gardens. I finally realized yesterday that they might be starts of a plant that I planted in the garden. The early beginnings look different than the more mature plant. I am going to let them go for awhile and see what happens...The fact that plants can look a little 'weedy' or unruly for a time at first before turning into something nicer means there is hope for plants and people too!
I think my post holiday hot summer laziness has settled in. I just want to read and eat marshmallows. I need to do something more energetic and productive than racing my dogs to the front door and wandering IKEA...
I got a piece of bead board to block off our living room from our dogs---to keep them from rushing the door when the doorbell rings and from furring the furniture when they lounge on it. So now we have scraped off paint from replacing the board and little digs in the paint and the wall from the board falling down. Now when someone comes to the door I just have to hurry and talk with them before the dogs knock down the board. Oh well, at least the board gives me a fighting chance to make it to the door before the dogs---the furniture is relatively free of dog hair and my window sheers are not getting snagged anymore--With dogs there are a lot of compromises made--- mostly on the part of the owner.
As part of our 4th of July barbecue I picked up some giant marshmallows. They are about 3 times the size of regular marshmallows and really fluffy. They called to me in the store. One marshmallow makes 2 very gooey smores (it could actually make 4). It has 90 calories and no fat---no nutritional value to speak of but a reasonable indulgence---until you put it with graham crackers and a chocolate bar of course. They already make giant chocolate bars so now all we need is giant graham crackers and we could have a major dietary splurge. Actually they need to come out with micro mini marshmallows and bite size graham cracker squares then I could put one teeny marshmallow and one chocolate chip in between two wee graham crackers and have a doll size smore that just maybe my middle age metabolism could burn off before it joined the fat convention around my middle.
Well my daughter and I are off to IKEA the store purposely designed like a maze so that you will find things to buy in order to take your mind off of your fear of never finding your way out. At least it is good exercise. Maybe I can walk off those giant marshmallows.
One more thought about gardens---I have been pulling up some pesky unidentified weedy looking plants that have been growing like crazy in one of my flower gardens. I finally realized yesterday that they might be starts of a plant that I planted in the garden. The early beginnings look different than the more mature plant. I am going to let them go for awhile and see what happens...The fact that plants can look a little 'weedy' or unruly for a time at first before turning into something nicer means there is hope for plants and people too!
I think my post holiday hot summer laziness has settled in. I just want to read and eat marshmallows. I need to do something more energetic and productive than racing my dogs to the front door and wandering IKEA...
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