I Should Start By Collecting My Thoughts...

I remember years ago feeling like I should start collecting something. Somehow I thought it would add to my character or complete me in some way. After much thought I decided to collect elephants (not real ones-although that would be an impressive collection to show-off to family and friends) because I find them to be admirable creatures and I didn't know anyone who collected them. The collection never took off. Collections require time, money, and space. I struggle with being consistent, I worry about frivolous spending, (which doesn't always keep me from engaging in it), and I am always trying to de-clutter my life. After the elephants failed to add up I thought about collecting cash but those collections never last long it seems so I decided to collect books. It is hard for me to imagine having too many books. My book collection isn't as vast as I would like it to be but it is gradually growing.

Sometimes I think I only collect dust but that isn't impressive especially since 99.9 % of my collection is just the common household variety. I'll leave you wondering about the other 1/10th. It is fun to ponder how far the dust might have traveled before arriving at my house and what exactly is the shelf-life of dust? Now there is a good reason for not dusting---I am conducting an experiment!

People collect rocks, stamps, coins, dead insects, garbage, taxes, etc. Perhaps I could collect happiness. (I can picture eye-rolling and gagging at this point but stick with me) I have often enjoyed consciously collecting smiles. I remember one day when I was in college I decided to be happy and to smile at people all day. Many people smiled back and I had a very good day. I think we too often look outside of ourselves for things to make us happy. We buy stuff, we collect things, we go places, we take medication...We all know how good a smile can make us feel or how something relatively simple can make us happy. I believe the act of being positive or happy can create physical chemical reactions and changes in our body---with only good side effects.

A collection of happiness would create its own space, wouldn't have to be insured or dusted, and you wouldn't have to travel very far to find it. If everyone collected happiness there wouldn't be a shortage but an increase of happiness to collect. Am I always such a persistant Pollyanna or obstinate optimist? No. Just ask my husband who puts up with my worrying and my depression diving. (kind of like dumpster diving without finding treasure) But I am a tenacious hanger-on to hope. Hope has led me to some of the best moments in my life. It has rescued me and cheered me on. Hope keeps great company in faith and charity. If we must hope for a better world we need to take up a collection of happiness for ourselves...that sounds selfish but can we really have other people take up a collection of happiness for us

Get started on those collections. Perhaps you can spot something right now from your window that you can add to your collection.

Jello and the Substance of Simple Things---Part 2

The reason I make my Rainbow Jello Salad once a year to coincide with Easter is because of the colors. I love this time of year when the earth gradually casts aside her winter wardrobe of worn-looking neutrals for a fresh new Spring wardrobe of delicate pastels. Colors are softer and clearer when the year is young. These newborn colors are perfect for Easter decorations and candy. Baskets and eggs and jellybeans look as if they were rolled in green grass, soaked in sunshine, brushed against pink and purple petals, or dipped in the blue of the sky.

After our Easter brunch last Saturday we had an Easter Egg hunt for our grand daughter. The Easter bunny came while she ran to the store with her Dad and Papa. I had my sister and my sister-in-law be bunny helpers which is interesting considering that both of them are getting older and have major trouble with their knees and their feet. But they were happy to help because they are both very giving and they are both very young at heart. Just goes to show that the Easter Bunny is ageless. My grand daughter was excited to look for what the Easter bunny had left for her. She wasn't excited in a jumping-up-and-down way but you could see the wonder in her eyes and that filled the air with childlike anticipation that rejuvenated the 'old folks' who were watching and thinking of Easter Egg hunts from another time.

Everyone seemed to enjoy the brunch although my grandson was miserable teething and my 89 year old Uncle lost a tooth. Life can be rough on both ends and in the middle but thank heavens for all the moments of interspersed joy. I experienced several of those moments on Saturday. I got to hold my feverish grandson and comfort him and kiss him and feel him fall asleep in my arms. I got to feed and listen to, and laugh with and watch, and just be with family---sustenance for a mother. I also got to push my grand daughter in a swing. We pointed out airplanes, said silly things , and giggled together. For those moments I felt filled up with joy and weightier matters were carried away on the breeze.

The pleasures brought by colored jello, pastel colors, sleeping babies, laughing children, and time spent with people you love can be elusive and oh so hard to adequately describe. The apostle Paul defines Faith as being "the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen." In this case the word substance can have the Greek meaning of assurance, basis, or foundation. Simple pleasures like those experienced at our pre-Easter brunch strengthen my faith and give substance to my hopes and dreams. Our Savior said that man must become as a little child to enter the kingdom of Heaven. We all should spend more time with children to better understand this requirement and to grasp the substance of simple things. Time spent with my children and grandchildren gives me a glimpse of heaven and motivation to make it there.

What do you see from your window today?

Jello and the Substance of Simple Things---Part 1

Jello(I am using this term to refer to gelatin in general but I do prefer the Jell-O brand) is on my list of comfort foods. I really like jello. I like the smell of the powder, the colors, the flavors, the texture, and I never fail to be impressed by the way you can actually suspend other foods inside of it. (I never have and never will put spam in jello---there is a line between creative and disgusting) You can mold it, whip it, or cut it into jiggly shapes. For me jello is the edible equivilent to Silly Putty or Play-Doh. My son doesn't eat jello because he doesn't like the texture. For me, jello doesn't hold together in your mouth long enough to be offensive. I like sinking my teeth into it. There is no threat to my crowns.



I realize that when I confess my fondness for jello that I am risking becoming a real live caricature of myself (I thought about it---it's possible); a middle-aged LDS housewife from Utah who happily serves jello as a side dish as well as a dessert and takes jello salads to ward dinners. Members of the LDS church, especially those from Utah, have long been associated with jello. Green jello pins were sold at the 2002 Olympics in Utah. It is a fact that jello consumption is pretty high in the state of Utah and jello salads have always been standard fare at LDS church dinners. Although for the past decade I think LDS women have been trying to break out of the jello mold so to speak and try newer more exciting dishes. I know non LDS people in other states eat jello too. The Jell-O Museum is in the state of New York and I was surprised when I went to a luau on the island of Kauai to find jello on the menu---perhaps the luau was run by members of the LDS church---jello wasn't on my list of exotic island dishes but it tasted much better than the poi.



I made a favorite jello concoction just last Friday. It is a Rainbow Jello Salad. It is made with 6 different flavors of jello that represent 6 out of 7 colors of the rainbow. (Unfortunately they don't make an indigo shade of jello but making this salad helped me learn the order of colors in a rainbow. My oldest daughter introduced me to Roy G. Biv to help me remember) Each flavor is split into 2 layers, one layer just dissolved in boiling water and the other layer dissolved in boiling water with sour cream whisked into it. The end result is an incredible 12 layer rainbow comprised of one translucent and one opaque layer of each color. I put it in a 13x9 glass dish and cut it into squares so you can appreciate all of the layers. This is more than a salad. It's an edible creation that is aesthetically pleasing! You can actually peel the layers and eat them one at a time like my grand daugther did. Pieces of it look like it fell from the sky onto your plate. It tastes pretty good. It doesn't stimulate your taste buds like the luscious lemon and tarragon of bearnaise or embrace your taste buds like warm homemade rolls with butter but it gently tickles your taste buds while entertaining your tongue. (Yes, I could use more adventure in my life) I got the recipe from a neighbor years ago and the last few years it has become a traditional part of my pre-Easter brunch. It doesn't really take talent to make, just time and patience, and it looks so cool. It obviously gives this LDS housewife a sense of accomplishment and could very well be considered the piece de resistance of jello recipes.
I hope this post 'sets' well with you...

Consuming

Today I made a Costco run. My motivation was to get some fruit leather strips to put in my daugter's lunches. Of course, there are always some items I can pick up for storage and I had some Costco coupons. I love to save money but at Costco you spend money to save it if you know what I mean. I always experience a combination of excitement (the thrill of the hunt for good deals) and guilt when I shop at Costco. I feel like someone could take a picture of me struggling to push my overloaded cart and I could become a poster woman for the mega-consuming, wasteful, spoiled, reveling in excess, capitalistic American; at least the American pictured in the minds of some people in other countries.

Don't get me wrong, I like membership wholesale shopping places. That is why I am a card-carrying member. (Once we let our membership expire for a while and I felt almost underprivileged) They really help out when building your two-year supply or shopping for girl's camp or ward parties, or even wedding gifts and they are a great place for men who want to impress that special woman with flowers without paying an outrageous amount of money. It's just that there are so many wants masquerading as needs standing in the aisles and beckoning... Right when I walked in the door today I was faced with temptation in the form of the latest Disney movie on DVD for a terrific price. I happily put it in my cart but then I put it back because I haven't even seen the movie yet to know if I want to own it. (I think it is genetic but when I shop I will frequently put something in my cart and drive around with it for awhile and then put it back and stand and stare at for a bit like I am waiting for it to jump in my cart or beg me to buy it. I probably drive security people crazy with all my suspicious looking pondering and indecisiveness) Just a few feet farther was the newest Fablehaven book for a heck of a deal. Then there were spring bulbs, fruit trees,indoor/outdoor carpeting I could use on my deck, car mats, Danishes to die for, etc. etc. etc. (I resisted but made a list of what to convince myself I need on my next trip)

I did get the fruit leather strips and a cart full of mostly needed items like softener salt, laundry detergent and chewable calcium. I did splurge on some dried fruit and some really just cute mini angel food cakes. I still ended up spending probably more money than many people in poorer (Costcoless) countries earn in a year. The total packaging (one of my pet peeves about Costco is their vast amounts of packaging---over-sized boxes with bags inside) of my items would probably be considered enviable housing material in some places and the amount of samples I consumed (some samples I couldn't get to) was most likely more food than some children eat in a day. You see where the guilt comes from? At Costco you not only run the risk of buying things you don't need but you end up buying large amounts of what you don't need and you find comfort in how much money you saved. So many choices, so much fun stuff, so much cost in Costco!

Random thoughts: Today I was reading in my scriptures about the destruction of a people who became consumed with hatred for one another. I thought about the phrase 'consumed with hatred' and how hatred eats you up. When your heart is filled with hatred your heart becomes hard and too small for goodness---your soul is diminished. By way of contrast, we often hear the phrase 'filled with love'. When your heart is filled with love it expands and your soul is enlarged. Hate takes away. Love adds.

My husband learned on a cooking show the other night that you shouldn't refrigerate tomatoes and you don't need to refrigerate ketchup (or even catsup). None of my children like tomatoes except in the form of ketchup. I don't think they would like warm tomatoes any better than cold tomatoes. I like either but I am quite fond of cold ketchup. It seems fresher and healthier that way. I know it sits out on restaurant tables (and I eat it because I do consider it almost a food group)but I find it better to not think about that too much. You see my mother had an unusual (okay,icky) habit of licking the syrup drips on our syrup container at home and that has made me a bit suspicious of syrup containers as well as ketchup bottles in restaurants.

How does all of this fit together? Giddy comsumerism at Costco, consuming hatred, and unrefrigerated tomatoes...Well I love spending so I can save at Costco and at least it fills my pantry. (And I come up with really good reasons for needing what I buy)I sometimes hate the price of groceries anywhere you go now but I am not going to let it become a consuming hatred---I need the space in my heart for more love. And now I can buy a huge bag of tomatoes at Costco and not worry about them taking up space in my refrigerator---space that I need for the gallon jug of Ketchup!

Now tell me, what do you see from your window on the world?

Yesterday I was doing poop patrol---kind of like an Easter egg hunt with rotten eggs---and I had some thoughts...

First of all, I am glad that search and scoop has always been one of my kids' chores and not mine. (although I do end up doing it now and then to help out) But I have 'been there done that'. I used to clean up after my pet poodle. Of course, poodles are more refined in most areas aren't they? We even had a nice name for my poodle's messes---doo drops. Well now we have two dogs and neither of them are poodles and neither of them are refined. I wish I could train them to pick up their own messes but I'm still working on getting them to stop barking at the tiniest of noises and terrifying small children so we have a long road ahead.

I also thought about how many people clean up my messes. Included could be the people who work in sewage treatment plants and people who pick up my garbage and haul it away. And there are many people who take care of things for me because of my lack of ability or time. People frequently get paid to clean up after me, but I should take a moment now and then to appreciate them. Perhaps one of the reasons we are so wasteful now is because in many cases we are spared the dirty task of cleaning up after ourselves. We have flushing toilets instead of outhouses and we have someone come to our house to collect our refuse. I'm thankful that's the way things work how about you?

There were also a few analogies that came to mind as I was filling a shovel. I am pretty sure we have mentioned to our kids several times the importance of keeping up with the poop. After the erratic weather we have been experiencing it had been a while since the last poop patrol so I spent quite some time turd tracking yesterday. (Sorry, I don't like the word 'turd' but I was going for more alliteration) It is so much better to persistently pick it up than let it pile up. The winter snows covered a multitude of sins but only for so long. When the snow melted the poop could no longer be ignored. I am a skilled procrastinator so to me these aspects of poopiness apply to putting off personal improvement. We need to stay on top of stinky habits. If we ignore them they won't go away they will just pile up.Picking up poop requires being constant and diligent. It is recognizing that something needs to be done and then doing it because the end result far outweighs the inconvenience.

I am not going to follow my dogs around but I am going to make sure we are more diligent in cleaning up after them and I am even going to try and make it easier for people to clean up after me in other ways. I love being able to walk and run freely on the lawn without fear of stepping in something nasty. When our grand kids come for an Easter Egg hunt they will only find good things. Poop that isn't picked up spoils the landscape, interferes with fun and frolicking, and looms on the horizon as an increasingly nasty chore. It needs to be dealt with or it is just...poopy!

What's the view from your window?

Under my skin

The other day I was thinking about how amazing it is that we start out as tiny babies and then we grow. To think of our bones and skin growing with us is to contemplate a miracle that is hard to fathom. On this subject, I thought maybe if we were born with our adult amount of skin then we could grow into it and as we got older we wouldn't have to worry about sagging or bagging or wrinkles...But that would make for scary babies and if we lived to be real old our skin would fit us like shrink wrap! I find some of my clothes fitting me more snugly than I would like (I now look for a balance between just tight enough to stop jiggles but not tight enough to show bulges--the age of control top pantyhose and loose fitting jeans) but at least my skin isn't too tight so at least in that respect you could say I feel comfortable in my own skin.

I had the great privilege of holding a newborn baby yesterday. His mother commented on how with his receding hairline and wrinkliness he looked like a little old man. Since he is so cute she wondered if he would be a cute old man. In the full circle of life old people and new people (babies) have quite a few commonalities. However, no one refers to the 'fuzz' on an old man's head as cute or pinches a grownup's chubby cheeks with delight. I have never heard someone comment on how adorable the rolls and folds are above a grown woman's knees or seen anyone lovingly tickle an adult double chin. Babies just don't know how much they should cherish compliments people give them for being chubby and bald.

I saw a sweet lady the other day whose face was covered with deep wrinkles. I tried to mentally smooth them out to imagine what she looked like when she was younger. I decided she was probably quite striking looking. Should we look past our wrinkles or at them? We have all seen how unreal people look who try to smooth them out. They look uncomfortable in their skin!

Random thoughts: Our bodies over time can become like a favorite pair of pants--they lose a little of their original shape through lots of wash and wear but they become more comfortable.
Those of us who have given birth have stretch marks. Mine are probably worse than some but I never really liked bikinis so I really don't worry about my stretch marks. My husband refers to them as battle scars. I got them doing something brave and noble. Perhaps we would think more kindly of crows feet and laugh lines if we thought of getting them by having given birth to a lot of smiles and laughs over the years.
What's the view from your window?

Mondays

I am like a turtle on Mondays. I would prefer to pull inside of my shell with a good book and a bag of gummy worms. But Mondays pass by all too quickly just like other days so I better stick my head out of my shell and look around before it's Tuesday and I've missed something.

Last week my daughter was on Spring Break from college. Of course we had to share her with friends but it was so nice to have her home. With just one baby bird left in the nest things need livening up now and then. I don't think my daughter knows how much I miss her after a long visit or can fully understand why. You see, when she's home it brings back memories of when our nest was full and our birds were learning to fly but they would stay close to the nest...

Yesterday I was thinking about music. My sweet husband is the music and choir director in our ward. He is an example of faithful obedience. He has never had any kind of formal training in music but he loves to sing and he has gradually been learning about music for several years. He has a great capacity for learning. Anyway...I love music but I don't have a very strong voice and I am very self conscious about my extremely limited musical ability but I go to choir to support my husband and because it feels so good to sing. I am so thankful a person doesn't have to be musically talented to have a song in his or her heart. Like poetry, songs dress up everyday words and give them a more meaningful existence---and help us find more meaning in our existence. I think the world would be a much better place if music were the second language taught in every home. Sometimes I wonder if music was our first language.

Random thoughts---Sometimes I wake up in the morning with a song in my head. When it is a hymn I try to figure out what I am supposed to learn from having that particular song on my mind--is Heavenly Father sending me a message? Often I will just get some random song in my head like some rascal thoughts let it out of where ever it is kept in my brain.
Yesterday we sang a hymn called Reverently and Meekly Now for the Sacrament hymn. The last line left me pondering...And be constant unto me, That thy Savior I may be...

The earth has wonderful rhythms -beautiful music. I love the sound of the wind running through the trees in my backyard. (Sadly we are down to one small live portion of one tree) It is an inlanders answer to the sound of the ocean.
Isn't it amazing how something that can be so powerful, like the wind or the ocean, can be so comforting...like a sleeping child.
Enjoy the sounds of this Monday.
What's the view from your window?

A Monumental Occasion--My First Post

What should I say on my very first blog? Of course I want it to be intriguing and thought-provoking. Perhaps something quirky or giggle-inducing...I never thought I would be a blogger. Doesn't 'blogger' sound like something scary in Harry Potter? It sounds like a word that should be preceded by 'dirty'. I will try hard to be a good blogger.

After making more than my desirable amount of choices for the day just setting up my blog, I am quite stressed about what to actually say! I decided I wanted to write a blog mainly to motivate me to write consistently. I love to write and I enjoy reading what others write. You see, I have always dreamed of being a published author. (It is so nice to know that I have something in common with probably millions of other people)

I have had the privilege of being a stay-at-home mom for over 25 years and now I find myself trying to decide, once again, what I want to be when I grow up. I feel a little like a teenager again; my body is changing, my hair and skin are changing, I feel a little---awkward. (I never imagined I would feel this way as a Grandmother) I want to go out into the big world----I think. I am in that interesting age group referred to as 'middle aged'. It is a broad term referring to anyone just this side of old. The Renaissance followed the Middle Ages so maybe the best of life is yet to come. (I just need to make sure not to think of my middle ages as the dark ages--in some ways I am just starting to see the light)

What do you see from your window?