Families

The difference between being a grandmother and being a mother can be likened to the difference between having a chauffer driven ride in the country and being driven by your teenager, who has a learner's permit, somewhere in rush hour traffic. As a grandma you can sit back and enjoy the ride and the accompanying scenery. As a mother you feel compelled to instruct and correct while putting your foot firmly on the non-existent passenger's side brake. You don't dare enjoy too much of the scenery because you are focused on making sure both you and your child behind the wheel arrive alive.

I love being a mother. It is scary and painful and amazing and joyful---just like childbirth---a precursor of things to come...I must admit being a grandma is a lot of fun and something I can truly sit back and enjoy. Although I do stress a little about being a really good grandmother. I want my grandkids to have fond memories of me and I hope I can teach them a good lesson or two. (Although lessons taught by grandparents are often more subtle) One of the great things about being a grandparent is it gives you a second chance of sorts. If your children don't have as many good memories of you as their parent as you would hope then at least maybe they can catch a better glimpse of you through the eyes of their children.

Yesterday I got to go to a natural history museum (Two museum trips in one week--this was indeed a good week) and to an old-fashioned drugstore with my oldest daughter and her children, my granddaughter and grandson. It was delightful. My granddaughter enjoyed looking at the taxidermied birds and their eggs, the rocks, the butterfly and moth collections, and the old bottle collection. My grandson would have had much more fun (And gotten into a lot of trouble) if he would have been out of his stroller and allowed to crawl around and explore. He did get out of his stoller for a few minutes and delighted in playing a Native American drum while he bounced to the beat.

It is interesting to see what captures the attention of children. My granddaughter really liked looking at the aquarium. She has one in her home but this one had a 'Nemo' fish. In the Native American Art room she wasn't as much interested in the baskets and headdresses as she was in playing with some pottery pieces that were in a 'hands on' display. She grouped the pottery pieces into family units (Children naturally do this---even at tender ages children recognize the family as a fundamentally vital element of a healthy society)

As adults we always seem to have a clock ticking in our heads even when we are engaged in leisure activities. We look at something in a museum and then we move on expecting our children to do the same but children aren't as aware of time so they move on when they are ready--when they are done--or when something else catches their eye---they don't feel a need to keep moving for the sake of moving on. (However sometimes my children, especially as they grew older, would tug at me because I would be taking too long looking at something when they wanted to move on) My granddaughter did let us know when she was done. (Children do have timers--they rarely work in concert with their parent's timers) After seeing what she wanted to see she said, "Nana can I get out of the museum now?" She happily left with a bag of polished rocks and some candy rocks. Do you ever notice how as parents we vigilantly tell our children what not to put in their mouths but then we buy them edible versions of non-edibles and enthusiastically encourage them to partake? No wonder my granddaughter looked at the rocks a little apprehensively. (After lunch there was a hint of the same look when I offered her a cupcake with dirt--crushed oreos--and a worm--gummy--on top)

At the drugstore my granddaughter really took a liking to an old-fashioned spinning top. The kind with a handle that you push on. She liked it so much that when my inner timer said it was time to look at something else and I tried to put it away she grabbed it and insisted on playing with it a little longer. She also enjoyed rearranging the window display. She moved two porcelain birds into a nest with eggs. That did seem to be an appropriate arrangement. She found relief in a comfy chair for sale after she had been told to not touch something. She sucked her thumb and got a little upset when I tried to share the chair with her. She directed me to a nearby rocking chair. She was tired and hungry. We made our way to the exit and her mom stopped to buy some sticker books for her. While her mom paid for the purchase my granddaughter rearranged some farm animal groups---I think she was matching up mothers and their babies. My grandson was very good considering he just had to look at a lot of tantalizing things just barely out of his reach.

After the drugstore we came back home to Nana's house for lunch. My grandson feasted on pieces of bread, string cheese, blueberries, and baby food. He thouroughly enjoys eating. My granddaughter nibbled on a bologna sandwich, a few berries, and pretzels. My daughter and I enjoyed chatting about everything from world affairs to good books and recipes. Simple pleasures...

I love playing with my grandkids. I love chasing them and making them giggle. I love exploring with them. I have tried to make my extra bedroom into a fun playroom with several toys and books to engage young hands and minds. While my daughter was getting her very tired and fussy baby boy ready for the car ride home, I went to get my granddaughter and found her in the playroom not playing with the toys or books but playing a game of her own invention of dropping chalk through a cardboard wrapping paper tube into a bowl. I was privileged to be invited to join in the game. You know--it was fun. Simple activities become grand events and grand events become even more grand than we can imagine when experienced with the simple wonder and unadulterated enthusiasm of a child.

My world is so much brighter when my grandson smiles at me or when his big sister returns my hugs. My granddaughter rearranged my sofa table decor, moving a lone bird closer to its two 'baby bird's, on her way out. When the door shut after several goodbyes I was tired but renewed and I thought about how much I cherish my family---what they say---what they do---their facial expressions and laughter---what they do to my heart. I am glad that Heavenly Father put us into families. It feels like the right arrangement.