Why Are These Experiences Mine?

Wow. A whole week has gone by and I have not written. Most likely that has had absolutely no effect on the universe...but I'm back!

A woman of faith, who I admire, recently made a comment when bearing her testimony in church that reverberated through my mind. Her children are not active in the church (The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints) and she said, 'having children who stray from the church (gospel) is something many of you will never experience'. That causes me to ask one of my favorite questions...why? Why is it something some will never experience but others will? Is it because some people don't need to learn the lessons that come with that experience or is it because they will learn the lessons in a different way? I believe the answer is yes to both questions.

Just as we are born with special physical abilities or talents we are also born with special spiritual abilities---spiritual gifts. Maybe some people already have what they would gain from a certain experience or at least they have moved beyond the developing phase and onto the practicing or honing phase.

Each one of us learns differently so it makes sense that what teaches one person say-- patience-- may not teach patience to another person. How wonderful that Heavenly Father gives us what he knows we need in order to become who he knows we can become. I pray for patience (among many other virtues in which I am sadly deficient) but would I have signed up for some of the lessons Heavenly Father has taught me about patience? Maybe if it was multiple choice I would have chosen even my difficult lessons over other lessons. Hmm... Heavenly Father doesn't give us more than what he knows we can handle and he adds his strength to ours. This is a whole other topic for a different day...

Now tell me again why we have trials? In Job we read that man is born unto trouble, our mortal bodies are a gift from God but they are susceptable to pain, injury, disease, and death. Another gift from God is our agency---our freedom to choose. There are very few choices we make in this life that do not affect someone else. So our trials come as a result of being mortal, or as a result of our poor choices or the poor choices of someone else. I believe that sometimes God saves us from trials and sometimes he saves us through trials. In his infinite wisdom he decides which is best. As parents we sometimes suffer as we watch our children struggle because they need to learn and Heavenly Father knows so much more than we do. I don't think Heavenly Father so much hands out trials as he offers opportunities and we accept some of the goodness he offers by how we face our trials. I think this is what the apostle Paul was speaking of to the Corinthians when he said, Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in necessities, in persecutions, in distresses for Christ's sake: for when I am weak, then am I strong.

When my friend and neighbor made the statement that prompted all of these thoughts there were some in the congregation who have experienced having a child stray, and there were some who could only imagine what it must be like, but people in both situations were probably either feeling compassion for the woman, gratitude for children who hadn't strayed, or hope for children who had---all good feelings. Heavenly Father makes sure that blessings come in many ways and often many people will eat of the fruit of one seed. The trials of those we love become our trials. While loved ones learn divine lessons we learn some of our own. We have promised to bear one another's burdens. Our Savior has suffered all so that he could succor us in our time of need.

Sometimes I think I have the answers to Why? Why me? Why now? Why this? But then something that I perceive to be so much bigger than myself happens and the answers seem to elude me. It can be very difficult to make some experiences fit in our minds and our hearts but like Heavenly Father told the prophet Joseph Smith when Joseph was suffering greatly in Liberty Jail, know thou, my son, that all these things shall give thee experience, and shall be for thy good. Sometimes we need to let go of our questions and take comfort in the fact that Heavenly Father knows the answers. I know I have a lot to learn but I am thankful that I can learn a lot if I so choose.